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Diaries » being a parent. by: Kenny11973(m) .:. Sun, 30 Nov, 2014 - 05:44:36:am GMT
i'm here again to gather my thoughts. sometimes i wonder about being a parent will i be a good mom? will i be bad? will i have a favorite? will i be fair? would i love the "good" child? or the crazy one? you may wonder why i have this thoughts... it justs keeps coming to me every time i hear someone say my mom loves my brother more dan she loves me or my dad loves me more dan that. a man has 2kids... one sells his (father's).property, refuses to pay his school fees, doesn't stay in school and the other is the complete opposite.. good child. very obedient but somehow the "bad one" gets away with all his acts.. spends school fees gets another, owes huge debts gets paid off. D "good" child watches on in silence because he remembered what happened the last time he asked for 10,000 naira... lets just say He didn't get it. A man has 2 daughters one gets pregnant he buys baby clothes, pays ante-natal. the babe is born and the baby daddy refuses to show up, so the father of d bride pays for diapers,immunization, baby food and allowance for the baby mama.... now the child who went to school.. studied hard and graduated watches on in silence..because SHE thought SHE did the right thing but she the one without funding because she is yet to get a job. Maybe i will understand howthis works when i'm older... or when i have my own kids... but till then. i will watch and take notes of my own.
**kenny g**

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Re: being a parent. by: Funmo(m) .:. Fri, 30 Jan, 2015 - 01:27:44:pm GMT

PARENTING 101

              Parenting looks like the hardest job on earth, just that you don't get paid for it. Parents are faced with herculean tasks of how to raise their children in the best upbringing and training. Kids are becoming smarter by the day, it's becoming challenging to manage them. Nurturing kids is no easy feat as you need to have the right prerequisites needed to excel in the field of parenting. It's the computer age and the brains of kids work like a mainframe computer. Handling kids takes different enlightened techniques and knowledge.
              A parent must take the whole responsibility of molding a child into a morally-right human, and so, steps must be taken with a child from infancy to adolescence and to the teenage years. As infants, children copy what they see around because of their innate tendencies. So, parents must watch what they say and do, as the kids will follow right after their footsteps. The foundation for what a child will become in the future is laid at this stage. Educationally, morally, financially, spiritually et al, the way a child turns out is built right here, and succinct attention must be paid to each and every detail at this stage.
              The time of adolescence (9-12) ushers the children into the teen years and eventual adulthood. It's a time rife of peer pressure; the child begins to copy mates and the environmental trends blindly. It is at this stage that the parents have most work to do. Pride, stubbornness, rebelliousness, disobedience and other social ills are the child's wonts during these times. It takes hard and tough love, wisdom and tactics to straighten a child out at this point. 
               The teen years (13-19) is the final preparatory stage. This is where financial prudence, sex education and some core societal values are taught and instilled into a child.  When everything has been put in place at every stage of training one's children, then parenting becomes a blessing as it yields positive results

**ORIGINAL, CREATIVE AND A SUPERSTAR IN THE MAKING**


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Re: being a parent. by: Mizhbell(m) .:. Fri, 21 Dec, 2018 - 04:40:32:pm GMT

PARENTING: Is not just being a parent to a child, it is about being a Good parent that matters. You know, Being a parent and caring for a child can be a wonderful experience but at times, it can be daunting and overwhelming as you start nurturing a child. HERE ARE SOME FEW PRINCIPLES ONE SHOULD KNOW BEFORE BEING A PARENT. WHAT YOU DO MATTERS_ "This is one of the most important principles," Steinberg tells WebMD. What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'" ****YOU CANNOT BE TOO LOVING_ "It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love," he writes. "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions." ****BE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHIDS LIFE_"Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically." Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg tells WebMD. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning." **** ADAPT YOUR PARENTING TO FIT YOUR CHILD_ . Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior. "The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table." For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. His grades in school are suffering. He's argumentative. Should parents push him more, or should they be understanding so his self-esteem doesn't suffer? "With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things," Steinberg says. "He may be depressed. He could be getting too little sleep. Is he staying up too late? It could be he simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. He may have a learning problem. Pushing him to do better is not the answer. The problem needs to be diagnosed by a professional."Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children," he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others." "There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids," Steinberg tells WebMD. "There are many other ways to discipline a child, including 'time out,' which work better and do not involve aggression." EXPLAIN YOUR RULES AND DICISIONS _: Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have." An example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart -- but blurts out answers in class, doesn't give other kids a chance, and talks too much in class. His teacher needs to address the child behavior problem. He needs to talk to the child about it, says Steinberg. "Parents might want to meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. That child needs to learn to give other children a chance to answer questions.". ***TREAT YOUR CHILD WITH RESPECT "The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others." For example, if your child is a picky eater : "I personally don't think parents should make a big deal about eating," Steinberg tells WebMD. "Children develop food preferences. They often go through them in stages. You don't want turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just don't make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't keep junk food in the house, they won't eat it." Likewise, the checkout line tantrum can be avoided, says Natale. "Children respond very well to structure. You can't go shopping without preparing them for it. Tell them, 'We will be there 45 minutes. Mommy needs to buy this. Show them the list. If you don't prepare them, they will get bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people." "Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the child," "You work on your relationships with other adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating . But what about your relationship with your child? If you have a good relationship, and you're really in tune with your child, that's what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue."
**bell**


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Re: being a parent. by: Youngbeauty(m) .:. Thu, 27 Jun, 2019 - 02:21:36:pm GMT

been a parents is not an easy job,you have a lots of work to do,in part of your husband/wife,children,a time will come in ones life,he/she  will be thinking of becoming a father or mother,which means  (parents)


they think of getting married having children,getting a job,building a house buying a car
how to set your life up,in other to live a good life,that is when your journey begins,

when you get married you are making effort of having a good life and having children giving your wife the life she deserve,when you have the first child,you start thinking of how you care for him 
teach him the rights and wrong

your attention is been divided to your wife and child 
so he/she will experience the love of a father or mother
you make sure he lacks nothing,you cloth him/her,when they start to talk you begging to think of putting them in school,

who they will have a good life becomes you priority
you make sure you have a good and clear legacy,you can even starve for them to eat,put on rags for them to wear nice clothes

some parents when things are not going as expected,some can steal in other to see their child live well and be happy,been parents is a thing of joy but is not easy
some people can be marry for years but no child to call them mom nor dad,

they can adopt just to have that name,parents and someone that will bear their legacy,been a parents is not easy one needs to do a lot,been a parents it a journey of a live time.



**Obedience is better than sacrifice**


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Re: being a parent. by: Obinnaoguji(m) .:. Sun, 07 Jul, 2019 - 10:25:43:am GMT

A step at a time. That is the key. I strongly believe if you doing the right thing at any stage of your human advancement, parenthood will not be an exception when the time comes.


Life is a journey and so parenthood. Whenever you manage your steering properly you will always get to your destination. This is if only you have a destination in the first place. What do you want to see in your children? How do you intend achieving it? It's your responsibility to figure them out.

Parenting should be enjoyed. I have seen people who could not train their kids, but expect wonders to happen in their adulthood. You must be intentional. Embrace the sense of discipline and responsibility in raising your kids.

Discipline from childhood helps them understand what is required of them to get things done. They will also go out and get things done no matter what it takes.

A sense of responsibility is knowing that a task is yours to get done. You must have the target of raising your kids to be responsible.

Don't bug yourself with so many thoughts, parenting is fun. Work hard now and make lots of money because money is one of the instruments that help you achieve your goals.

**Obinna Oguji**


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Re: being a parent. by: Dynameak(m) .:. Wed, 20 May, 2020 - 12:53:04:pm GMT

Knowing if you'll be a good parent starts with you before others can say a thing or two about you when you eventually become a parent. Preparing to be a parent starts from the time you know right from wrong as a child because a greater percentage of characteristics adults manifest is traceable to how they were groomed from childhood. More to it is the child's digestion of the character his/her parents display because a child has a great tendency of replicating his/her parents pattern of parenting in his/her own family when he eventually has one. 

Further into the preparation for Parenthood is in the love relationship where you and your partner settle into deep discussion on how you'll parent your children because parenting in a family should be one edged not double so as to be able to collectively train the children. To collectively train children will reduce unnecessary conflicts in the family because the children already know that their parents are not parenting from different perspectives as their perspective to parenting is as one in a team.  

As a single person, in preparing to become a parent you should look into families that you love their parenting pattern so as to learn from them. Also, you should read books on parenting from the masculine and feminine point of view so as for you to be able to have a good conversation on parenting with your partner before settling into marriage. 

Parenting is a life long process an it requires quality time for preparation so as to be able to groom children into adults that lead a qualitative life. 

**Life is a race but with God's element of grace it'll be worth while to explore His goodness. **


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Re: being a parent. by: Dynameak(m) .:. Wed, 20 May, 2020 - 01:01:48:pm GMT


@mizhbell: Involvement in a childs life is very important because it makes you know what's going on in the life of the child in and away from your presence. Less involvement of some parents in the lives of their children has resulted in the manifestation of bad habits from their children due to bad influence from friends. 


The indulgent pattern of parenting is not an healthy one because such parents don't have a cordial relationship with their children and they permit their children to live just as they desire. Children should be watched closely and not left alone to live anyhow they see fit. As parents , give room for interaction between you and your children so as to be updated about their lives and they also will know how you are fairing with your daily life outside the family, such interaction will strengthen the bond of love in the family.  

**Life is a race but with God's element of grace it'll be worth while to explore His goodness. **


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Re: being a parent. by: Glamour(f) .:. Tue, 23 Jun, 2020 - 10:25:37:am GMT

I love kids a lot and I believe I would be a very good parent. And so I'm not bothered about being a good parent but I am bothered about other kids parents. okay I'm a student I see single parents in school mostly females and I get scared because they don't behave like parents like I watched a video I can't remember when and saw a small kid hitting his mum from the back with his penis and what came to my mind immediately was God this is a cause of bad parenting and probably an inexperienced mother, because in the video the background noise where female Friends that sounded young hailing the young boy. I know of a girl in my school who has a small boybut she's never home you see herleave the hostel and arriving the next morning of which we all know kids are fast learners especially when it comes to the wrong thing. She doesn't really care about what the little boy would be doing where she dropped him. We have alot of paedophiles also and at the end of the day the child starts misbehaving you would hear things like I don't know where you got this character well o. But I trained you well. So please to all my single parents out there let's try to have time for our kids it will really go a long way for us in the future and help them also. Most kids are sexually harassed go to their parents ignorance. If you are not ready to be a parent don't do what married people do and if you think you want to do it, do it responsibly so that you don't have to regret your decisions and start taking it out on the kid. Thank you for this post.
****


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Re: being a parent. by: Doyin(m) .:. Thu, 30 Jul, 2020 - 06:21:49:pm GMT

I believe pregnancy are planned for, like in the case of intending couples, but for other cases like unwanted pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy ( it's not like they don't want the pregnancy, but they didn't expect it at that time) the same facts applies to all, if you really want to be called a parent.

It is not just a name, it is a title earned from deep sacrifice and plenty of love, you would agree wiywme that there are many fathers and mothers whose children are being taken care of by another.
FACTS
1. From the day you learn of the pregnancy, you live major part of your life for that child.

2. You think of the child first before considering what to eat

3. When you are about spending you pause and check your child's needs first 

4. You live in faith of not loosing that child (most people might noy discuss this but every parent would rather keep praying about it) .

5. You can not raise the child with your sole ideas, you need the help of religious organizations and the school to help guide you child with beneficial instructions.

6. God gave you the child, only HIM can help you raise the child the proper way, always go to him in prayer 

**To be impactful**


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Re: being a parent. by: Abbey(m) .:. Mon, 03 Aug, 2020 - 05:36:06:am GMT


Being  a  parent  has a  long way to go. 

Parents  your children are the future of tomorrow , take good care of them, don't  let  them  live  any how , don't  let the be a  devil child, correct your children when they are needed to be corrected. 
Being  a  parent , our  father and mother St home  we all  know clearly that to be a parent is not easy but God will  provide to all parents what they  need  to  care for  their children. 
Parents  give your home proper attention  don't  like  your  work  more than your home  these children at home  need a very  good monitoring. 
Being  a  parent is nice in the other way because  after  getting married  the next thing  is for the wife to get pregnant, so if the  wife  got  pregnant  that  will be  the  joy of the  marriage, a woman  who  found  it difficult to  get pregnant , are not been  happy at all, there are so many people out there  looking for a child , some  pray, pray on the mountain every day but nothing  happens 
God  every  woman looking for a child  I pray  that God  will  hear  your  cry today  and  give you your own child 

**Abiodun**


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Re: being a parent. by: Abbie@21(f) .:. Tue, 01 Sep, 2020 - 09:29:07:pm GMT

  A parent is someone that handles every need their young one and takes care of them, 

  In the United States,most people don't go into parenting that much cos they see parenthood as something tough and hard for them to handle, most relationships don't end well, the reason could be maybe one partner wants to get engaged into something that seems to affect the doesn'tother person, about half percent of the reasons why couples disagree with each other is majorly because of let's say for example, miss A and Mr Z are in a relationship and one day Mr Z asked miss A how many children she would like to have and she looked suprised at his question and asked him , "how many children"?,no I don't want children , in this case there is definitely going to be an argument between them and to cut the long story short this one wants this and the other one wants something else , they will both have to go their separate ways , or of a man doesn't want children and a woman says she wants children sometimes the woman woma with the man giving her certain conditions not to disturb him for anything  like waking him up when the baby  starts crying ,or not participating in feeding or changing the baby's diapers   and sometimes they don't agree
   Now,being a parent have to go in line with who want to go into Parenthood,the responsibilities of being a parent doesn't just stop at when the child becomes a year old it goes on and on untill the child is old enough to start a life of his or her own, basically,whatever the child turns out to be in the future is all on you,it's like your life and their lives are tied to one life source, you have to make sure you share any of your esourcess between you and them, it's a really tough decision
   My reason for saying parenting is based on decision is this,a very young girl gets an unwanted pregnancy and after 9 months she gave birth to the child she can either do two things,she can either choosee to take the child to an orphanage or take the child with her ,she thought about it knowing quite well the challenges she will encounter on raising her little one, knowing well the number of times she will have to deprive herself of food just for her little one to eat she chose him or nothing else,she made a decision that she would live in for the rest of her life


****


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Re: being a parent. by: Nagiano(m) .:. Wed, 02 Sep, 2020 - 11:49:58:am GMT

Parenting is not an easy task and sometimes until you become a parent yourself, you won't really understand what parenting entails.  


I experienced some of these things the poster wrote in his article and during my experience, it got to a point I realized the only solution was for me to stop being dependent on my parents. So I left home and I can tell you that the way they reason with me when I left home and became independent was far different from when I was still very dependent on my parents. 

In a family where the parents have more than one child, there will always be one that will be completely different from the other children, that will prefer doing the things that his or her parents doesn't like. And when situations like this arise, parenting becomes more tasking. 

When psychologists talk about individual differences, they made it known that even a set of twins cannot behave in the same manner, one must surely behave differently in one way or the other from the other one. That being said, you should understand that when parents have more than one child, the way they'll react to their actions will be different. 

So my point is that, for me it is now that I'm realizing that I was wrong to be angry at my parents for some of their actions that used to get me angry back then. So this issue of parents responding differently to the actions of their children is something you'll get to understand that it is not their intention because if all the children behave in the same manner, then their parents will love them and respond to them the same way.


**Man United for Life**


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Re: being a parent. by: MichealThankGod(m) .:. Wed, 02 Sep, 2020 - 04:58:06:pm GMT

Being a parent is more than you giving birth to children and training them to the high level of school and in the highest town.

There are things you ought to know as a parents, even before you get married not to talk of given birth to a child, there are some series of prayers you ought to be doing, i mean making some declaration on your children that are yet to come.

This getting pregnant to one handsome guy because he dresses nice, are not quality for good parents. There are lit of serious thing you should know, before going into it.

Many parents, are still regretting the mistakes they did, in the time past, trying to settle the future with there own wisdom.

This is are beyond human strategies and wisdom, we need to seek God intervention, on this, it not what we just, try to figure out with our own wisdom.

There are some speaking, you need to be making now that you are still a youth, to your unborn children, not until 2 months before marriage, or after you are already wedded.

Of a truth, they are children who are so stubborn to the call but I so much believe also that they can change, in the terms of discipline and with prayer.

Not only been a parents, in anything in life that we want to embark on, we really need to pray, in other to be fully prepare, not just going into it casually.

Who knows if we had prepared well and handle things well, that we just jump into anyhow, who knows things would have been better like this.

Being a parent or anything, it takes a lot of preparation

****


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Re: being a parent. by: Olatoke(m) .:. Sat, 31 Jul, 2021 - 08:56:00:am GMT

Being a parent is usually busy God ,God is the only one who gives children you can made a child by yourself impossible but by God.

Being a parent that means you already have a child the first place where a child learn is from home ,home is the first teacher in someone life ,an adage says that charity begins at home .

Being a parent is good and nice but depends on how you handle your family you as a parent did you live by example to your children.
Parent are to guide ,direct ,lead the affair of their children.
**Olatoke **


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Re: being a parent. by: Olatoke(m) .:. Sat, 28 Aug, 2021 - 05:51:41:pm GMT

This is what we also called parenthood right been a parent deal with wisdom and understanding.

There are some parents who does not correct their when ever they did bad it happened like this for different reasons ,parent are the mentor of their children ,well how dis you handel your children did you like one more than the other that is not encouraging you have to treat them equally .

Let your children feel your personality as there father or mother,been a parent is a lesson because you serve as protection to them you correct them when they are on the bad side.
You have to train them both physically and psychologically .




**Olatoke **


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