Diaries » being a parent. by: Kenny11973(m) .:. Sun, 30 Nov, 2014 - 05:44:36:am GMT

i'm here again to gather my thoughts. sometimes i wonder about being a parent will i be a good mom? will i be bad? will i have a favorite? will i be fair? would i love the "good" child? or the crazy one? you may wonder why i have this thoughts... it justs keeps coming to me every time i hear someone say my mom loves my brother more dan she loves me or my dad loves me more dan that. a man has 2kids... one sells his (father's).property, refuses to pay his school fees, doesn't stay in school and the other is the complete opposite.. good child. very obedient but somehow the "bad one" gets away with all his acts.. spends school fees gets another, owes huge debts gets paid off. D "good" child watches on in silence because he remembered what happened the last time he asked for 10,000 naira... lets just say He didn't get it. A man has 2 daughters one gets pregnant he buys baby clothes, pays ante-natal. the babe is born and the baby daddy refuses to show up, so the father of d bride pays for diapers,immunization, baby food and allowance for the baby mama.... now the child who went to school.. studied hard and graduated watches on in silence..because SHE thought SHE did the right thing but she the one without funding because she is yet to get a job. Maybe i will understand howthis works when i'm older... or when i have my own kids... but till then. i will watch and take notes of my own.
**kenny g**

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Re: being a parent. by: Funmo(m) .:. Fri, 30 Jan, 2015 - 01:27:44:pm GMT


Parenting looks like the hardest job on earth, just that you don't get paid for it. Parents are faced with herculean tasks of how to raise their children in the best upbringing and training. Kids are becoming smarter by the day, it's becoming challenging to manage them. Nurturing kids is no easy feat as you need to have the right prerequisites needed to excel in the field of parenting. It's the computer age and the brains of kids work like a mainframe computer. Handling kids takes different enlightened techniques and knowledge.
A parent must take the whole responsibility of molding a child into a morally-right human, and so, steps must be taken with a child from infancy to adolescence and to the teenage years. As infants, children copy what they see around because of their innate tendencies. So, parents must watch what they say and do, as the kids will follow right after their footsteps. The foundation for what a child will become in the future is laid at this stage. Educationally, morally, financially, spiritually et al, the way a child turns out is built right here, and succinct attention must be paid to each and every detail at this stage.
The time of adolescence (9-12) ushers the children into the teen years and eventual adulthood. It's a time rife of peer pressure the child begins to copy mates and the environmental trends blindly. It is at this stage that the parents have most work to do. Pride, stubbornness, rebelliousness, disobedience and other social ills are the child's wonts during these times. It takes hard and tough love, wisdom and tactics to straighten a child out at this point.
The teen years (13-19) is the final preparatory stage. This is where financial prudence, sex education and some core societal values are taught and instilled into a child. When everything has been put in place at every stage of training one's children, then parenting becomes a blessing as it yields positive results


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Re: being a parent. by: Mizhbell(f) .:. Fri, 21 Dec, 2018 - 04:40:32:pm GMT

PARENTING: Is not just being a parent to a child, it is about being a Good parent that matters. You know, Being a parent and caring for a child can be a wonderful experience but at times, it can be daunting and overwhelming as you start nurturing a child. HERE ARE SOME FEW PRINCIPLES ONE SHOULD KNOW BEFORE BEING A PARENT. WHAT YOU DO MATTERS_ "This is one of the most important principles," Steinberg tells WebMD. What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'" ****YOU CANNOT BE TOO LOVING_ "It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love," he writes. "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions." ****BE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHIDS LIFE_"Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically." Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or reading it over or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg tells WebMD. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning." **** ADAPT YOUR PARENTING TO FIT YOUR CHILD_ . Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior. "The same drive for independence that is making your three-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table." For example: An eighth grader is easily distracted, irritable. His grades in school are suffering. He's argumentative. Should parents push him more, or should they be understanding so his self-esteem doesn't suffer? "With a 13-year-old, the problem could be a number of things," Steinberg says. "He may be depressed. He could be getting too little sleep. Is he staying up too late? It could be he simply needs some help in structuring time to allow time for studying. He may have a learning problem. Pushing him to do better is not the answer. The problem needs to be diagnosed by a professional."Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children," he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others." "There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids," Steinberg tells WebMD. "There are many other ways to discipline a child, including 'time out,' which work better and do not involve aggression." EXPLAIN YOUR RULES AND DICISIONS _: Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have." An example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart -- but blurts out answers in class, doesn't give other kids a chance, and talks too much in class. His teacher needs to address the child behavior problem. He needs to talk to the child about it, says Steinberg. "Parents might want to meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. That child needs to learn to give other children a chance to answer questions.". ***TREAT YOUR CHILD WITH RESPECT "The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others." For example, if your child is a picky eater : "I personally don't think parents should make a big deal about eating," Steinberg tells WebMD. "Children develop food preferences. They often go through them in stages. You don't want turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just don't make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't keep junk food in the house, they won't eat it." Likewise, the checkout line tantrum can be avoided, says Natale. "Children respond very well to structure. You can't go shopping without preparing them for it. Tell them, 'We will be there 45 minutes. Mommy needs to buy this. Show them the list. If you don't prepare them, they will get bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people." "Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the child," "You work on your relationships with other adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating . But what about your relationship with your child? If you have a good relationship, and you're really in tune with your child, that's what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue."

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Re: being a parent. by: Youngbeauty(f) .:. Thu, 27 Jun, 2019 - 02:21:36:pm GMT

been a parents is not an easy job,you have a lots of work to do,in part of your husband/wife,children,a time will come in ones life,he/she will be thinking of becoming a father or mother,which means (parents)

they think of getting married having children,getting a job,building a house buying a car
how to set your life up,in other to live a good life,that is when your journey begins,

when you get married you are making effort of having a good life and having children giving your wife the life she deserve,when you have the first child,you start thinking of how you care for him
teach him the rights and wrong

your attention is been divided to your wife and child
so he/she will experience the love of a father or mother
you make sure he lacks nothing,you cloth him/her,when they start to talk you begging to think of putting them in school,

who they will have a good life becomes you priority
you make sure you have a good and clear legacy,you can even starve for them to eat,put on rags for them to wear nice clothes

some parents when things are not going as expected,some can steal in other to see their child live well and be happy,been parents is a thing of joy but is not easy
some people can be marry for years but no child to call them mom nor dad,

they can adopt just to have that name,parents and someone that will bear their legacy,been a parents is not easy one needs to do a lot,been a parents it a journey of a live time.

**Obedience is better than sacrifice**

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Re: being a parent. by: Obinnaoguji(m) .:. Sun, 07 Jul, 2019 - 10:25:43:am GMT

A step at a time. That is the key. I strongly believe if you doing the right thing at any stage of your human advancement, parenthood will not be an exception when the time comes.

Life is a journey and so parenthood. Whenever you manage your steering properly you will always get to your destination. This is if only you have a destination in the first place. What do you want to see in your children? How do you intend achieving it? It's your responsibility to figure them out.

Parenting should be enjoyed. I have seen people who could not train their kids, but expect wonders to happen in their adulthood. You must be intentional. Embrace the sense of discipline and responsibility in raising your kids.

Discipline from childhood helps them understand what is required of them to get things done. They will also go out and get things done no matter what it takes.

A sense of responsibility is knowing that a task is yours to get done. You must have the target of raising your kids to be responsible.

Don't bug yourself with so many thoughts, parenting is fun. Work hard now and make lots of money because money is one of the instruments that help you achieve your goals.

**Obinna Oguji**

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Re: being a parent. by: Dynameak(f) .:. Wed, 20 May, 2020 - 12:53:04:pm GMT

Knowing if you'll be a good parent starts with you before others can say a thing or two about you when you eventually become a parent. Preparing to be a parent starts from the time you know right from wrong as a child because a greater percentage of characteristics adults manifest is traceable to how they were groomed from childhood. More to it is the child's digestion of the character his/her parents display because a child has a great tendency of replicating his/her parents pattern of parenting in his/her own family when he eventually has one.

Further into the preparation for Parenthood is in the love relationship where you and your partner settle into deep discussion on how you'll parent your children because parenting in a family should be one edged not double so as to be able to collectively train the children. To collectively train children will reduce unnecessary conflicts in the family because the children already know that their parents are not parenting from different perspectives as their perspective to parenting is as one in a team.

As a single person, in preparing to become a parent you should look into families that you love their parenting pattern so as to learn from them. Also, you should read books on parenting from the masculine and feminine point of view so as for you to be able to have a good conversation on parenting with your partner before settling into marriage.

Parenting is a life long process an it requires quality time for preparation so as to be able to groom children into adults that lead a qualitative life.

**Life is a race but with God's element of grace it'll be worth while to explore His goodness. **

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Re: being a parent. by: Dynameak(f) .:. Wed, 20 May, 2020 - 01:01:48:pm GMT

@mizhbell: Involvement in a childs life is very important because it makes you know what's going on in the life of the child in and away from your presence. Less involvement of some parents in the lives of their children has resulted in the manifestation of bad habits from their children due to bad influence from friends.

The indulgent pattern of parenting is not an healthy one because such parents don't have a cordial relationship with their children and they permit their children to live just as they desire. Children should be watched closely and not left alone to live anyhow they see fit. As parents , give room for interaction between you and your children so as to be updated about their lives and they also will know how you are fairing with your daily life outside the family, such interaction will strengthen the bond of love in the family.

**Life is a race but with God's element of grace it'll be worth while to explore His goodness. **

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