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Culture » Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Shokespecy(f) .:. Fri, 12 Dec, 2014 - 03:01:41:pm GMT
Some of them believe we live in a society where women should be seen and not heard. When the reporter threw the question at some they even went ahead as rejecting it, saying they are the head of the home and it is wrong for their wives to build a house before them. Some said if she builds it, it must be in their name, while some totally said nothing on earth can ever make them live in a house built by a woman. Hear them yourselves below: Lasisi Bashiru: I can never do such a thing. As an African and a Yoruba man, the culture stipulates that if a woman is richer than her husband in terms of wealth, her wealth belongs to her husband. If my wife is therefore richer than me, she should give me the money to build the house myself on behalf of the family and it should be an internal arrangement that outsiders must know about it. Akinsowon Francis: Yes/No. I can live in the house built by my wife if only I was pre-informed before she started the construction of the house. I cannot, because ideally it is a man's responsibility to build a house for his wife and the children. Living in a house built by my wife then is like shifting my social and biological roles as the head of the family to her. Peter Amosun: I can live in a house built by my wife only if she agrees I will still be the head, the controller, and the dictator of the house. And more so if my dignity won't be destroyed by telling people around us. David Fakeye: I cannot accept to do that. My wife should give me the money to build the house on behalf of the family than building the house herself. Culturally, it is expected of a woman that is richer than her husband to make her husband the controller of her money. Some women prefer their husbands to have a tw👎bedroom flat before building theirs even if it is a mansion. Olusoji Kayode: The most important thing is love, if there is true love between us there is nothing my wife will do that I won't be happy about. There are times that God first bless the wife before the husband. If there is unity, there is nothing bad in living in the house built by my wife. I can only stay back if my wife is too proud and tells everybody around that she built the house. Gabriel Olasunkanmi Olaokun: I can't live in a house built by my wife because I won't have a say in the house, she can do and undo at anytime. Women naturally are full of ego. Saheed Ahmed Olaide: It can never happen, I can only do that when I am ready to die. If I should go to her house to celebrate with her and I mistakenly sleep there, if I should wake up at midnight I must find my way to my own house that night. May God never allow it to happen till the end of the world! I am not saying my wife should not build her house, but I can never sleep there. Stanley Omeretin: It depends on my wife. It also depends on her level of maturity, if she thinks she can be comfortable with it, I can live with her. But if she is not, I don't think I should live with her. If at first she is comfortable with it and later she is no longer comfortable with it, I will look for a way out by packing out and be comfortable with myself somewhere else. I am the man and I have to always be. Adeleke Adeyemi: I can live in a house built by my wife in as much as I am the one who established a business for her. Both the house and the woman belong to me. Wasiu Rasaq: I pray against such a negative thing from happening to me. Living in a house built by my wife is not a thing I pray for. May it not happen to me because it is a curse. Rauf Kamarudeen: Living in a house built by someone's wife is like sleeping on atan (dump site). I can't because the insult will be too much. She will be the controller of everything and she decides what should be done in the house. You can't accuse or warn her, she would tell you, if you are not comfortable with it, to pack out. Adigun Abiodun: I can't because women's behaviour when they own something is different from their normal behaviour. They always feel they are on top of the world. No matter who or how a woman is, the ego is always there. If any misunderstanding should occur, the woman can send the man packing. Segun Abegunde: The only condition that can make me live in the house built by my wife is if I knew from the onset that she was building one, but if I didn't know, I cannot. Oluwasegun Osisanyan: My response is no because the Bible says the husband is the head of the house. If I have to live in a house built by her it means that she has been made the head, naturally, I am supposed to be the head. Ogasibe Adekunle: It is a bad thing and I can't live there. She will later use this to get at me at any given time even if she does not at the start. Segun Ajitoni: I would prefer to live in a house built by pigs than to live in a house built by my wife. Living in a house built by my wife makes her the head, the dictator and the controller of the house. No matter how submissive she is, a day will come that she would show that she is the owner of the house.
**Omos**

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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Lanrhey(m) .:. Sat, 13 Dec, 2014 - 01:10:07:am GMT

Nice write-up
**Thakib**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Shokespecy(m) .:. Sat, 13 Dec, 2014 - 02:10:32:pm GMT

Thanks for ur comment. This is actually an interview carried out by a reporter. I saw it online and it kinda arouse my interest
**Omos**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Kenny11973(m) .:. Sun, 14 Dec, 2014 - 03:18:51:am GMT

Well,it all depends on the woman's character if a man will move in with her in her own house. If the woman is the cool, humble, have respect for the husband, I think it will be easier for the husband to conclude and move in. In a case, where the wife is so arrogant,proud and lot more. How do you expect a man to move in with that kind of woman in her own apart. The man surely knows, the wife will use that against him one day and beside such thing happen's here in Africa especially Nigeria on a low rate, Nigeria men are proud to be a man. Even without nothing, but in the western world the case is the other way round. So moving in to wife house all depend on the wife's behavior before they pack in.
**kenny g**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Shokespecy(m) .:. Sun, 14 Dec, 2014 - 04:59:44:am GMT

I quite agree wit ur reasons, @@kenny
**Omos**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Abbey(m) .:. Sat, 11 Jul, 2020 - 04:07:20:pm GMT

Any ways  I don't  see any  thing bad in living  in  a  house  built by my wife .,as for me  i  can live  in  a  house  built  by my wife, with  reason, if she built  the house  and I am aware of it then I  can  live  in  the  house  but if she  build house with out my notice then there will be a  big problem because I would not like  in the  house with her, I love  it when a woman  is hard working an hard working women  will definitely  build a house but she needs  her husband to be aware of it, but as for me if my wife  build a house  without my notice I will not live with her in that house. But if she build  it and inform me about  it then we can park in and live together in peace love. It a good  idea if a woman  build a house there is nothing  bad in it, buildings of house is not  meant  only for men but for both , if God say  your wife  will build  a house  then thank God for it. 
**Abiodun**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Bookie(f) .:. Sat, 11 Jul, 2020 - 05:06:14:pm GMT

I don't see anything wrong with it if both of them agree to it and they see themselves as one. Most men assumes that once they are staying in a house built by the wife, she will not summit to them anymore  and they may not be able to act as the  head of the family. In most cases, this is not true. Not true in the sense that the once a man takes care of  his responsibilities at home, he will be respected as the head of the family.
**Perfect**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Flochords(f) .:. Sat, 11 Jul, 2020 - 05:42:58:pm GMT

    It is not right for a man to live in his wife's house. The man should be the one marrying his wife into his own house and not otherwise. Responsible men will not do that, they will not want to try that because they know what it is to marry their own wife into their own apartment. Women should not also try to tell their husband to live in their house, better still you can rent your apartment out and go to his, or better still if he decides to buy your house or partner with you in the payment and ownership of the house, then that is also very much better than a lady marrying him into her own house. It makes the man feel incapable, and it makes him feel like you are the one leading him instead of it being otherwise. But the best thing is that you both decide on what is best for you and walk by it so that there won't be issue in your relationship on the long run.
**christ's own**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Dynameak(m) .:. Sat, 11 Jul, 2020 - 06:02:49:pm GMT

Trying to reason from the mind of a husband now, I was able to live with the situation of having to live in my wife's house because from what I can deduct from the account given above, I realized the topic streamed from a life situation which definitely needed a very urgent response. The situation could have been that the family was faced with an option to move out of a place within a short period of time and that made the wife provide a solution by making her husband know she has a house and the family can move in as soon as possible. 

It's not bad for a man to live in his wife's house but a woman in that situation must be very humble because every man has strong ego and that can make him insecure if life situations makes his wife capable of building a house while he doesn't have the capacity. 

First of all, a wife should inform her husband submissively from the beginning of the construction so that he will be carried along as each phase of the construction roll in but if the house has been in existence before marriage she should do well to make him know she has a landed property as soon as they get married because men hate to be taken unaware but they love surprises. It is important to surprise men with wisdom, so wife do not think you will come suddenly when life hits hard and there's a need to get a new place to live in then you will inform your husband about the house you have. No man will like such surprise, though he will be glad a solution came forth but he will be displeased because you hid it from him for so long. 

Also, it is important for wives to know that no matter what they posses, they must still give honour to their husband being the head of the home. Even if a man decides to live in his wife's house, she should still allow him run the house just like it's his own and not do anything that will stir up suspicion outside the home. When a woman does that wisely, she will be preserving her home and also has helped her husband overcome depressive thoughts because men do not like to be unable to provide for their family. Inability to provide for the family can lead to depression and that's unhealthy to the human mind.

**Life is a race but with God's element of grace it'll be worth while to explore His goodness. **


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Blackie(f) .:. Sat, 11 Jul, 2020 - 07:55:30:pm GMT

 Personally I don't see anything wrong with a man living in the house his wife built. First of all it isn't as if it was announced to the public that the house you're living in was built by your wife, thas between you and wife. As for the woman,just because you built the house doesn't mean you should treat your husband like trash. The bible says the wife should submit to the husband. No wife should say hurl any insulting words to her husband just because she buildings house and no man should try to dominate her by stating he's the head of the house. A woman can build a house, it simply shows that women are stronger and powerful than people think 
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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Fashnet(m) .:. Wed, 23 Sep, 2020 - 08:24:46:am GMT


 The truth remains the truth no matter how it is painted or made to be. Let us look at this topic from historical background and how it has been from ages. Looking at this shows that men have been the major determinant of how a family should be run and which house to leave in.

 Right from creation of man till now man are the head of the house and they are meant to provide majorly for their family and their home at large. The bible says for this reason shall a man leave his house. The man leaves his house to a home he would prepare for his new family.

  Though there can be some clauses and exemptions where a man can leave in the house built by the wife if the wife is well doing or if the wife is from a very rich family where everything is been provided for the wife already by her family.

  With this fact there is nothing wrong in a man to live in a house that is built by his wife though the man must be well doing as well and should ensure that he is still in charge of the family as the head of the house. If not the woman might want to be coming up with some kind of attitude.

  This is also a call out on all women that are rich to control themselves properly by not allowing their riches and their achievements as a whole not to affect their senses as they are need to still submit to their husband at all time.
  

**Help the needy and love everyone**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Victoria(f) .:. Sun, 04 Oct, 2020 - 02:21:42:pm GMT

I'm not a man but I really don't see anything wrong with the man living in the house that his wife built. The thing about men is that their ego comes first before anything else. It makes no sense that you would let your pride dictate that which you can or you cannot do. If you do not have enough money to build a house but your wife has enough, you should be able to accept the fact that she wants to take care of you and therefore you should give her the chance to do so.
There's nothing wrong with your wife building a house for the family. It doesn't matter if the house is in her name. Do not make her try to put the house in your name. Why should she do that? It's not like you didn't do anything or help out but she is a person too and she should be able to own her own properties. If you think you can't live there then you need to find other means of accommodation.
The fact that she built the house doesn't mean that your masculinity has been reduced or that you are not going to be able to provide for your family or that she's going to disrespect you. As long as you act like someone with sense, then you will have no problems with each other.

**Live, love and heal...**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: TYMartins(f) .:. Sat, 10 Oct, 2020 - 09:22:37:pm GMT

If not for culture or tradition or how the society is in africa generally and Nigeria specifically, living in a house built by your wife shouldn't be an issue. However, the society looks down on it because they feel it is only proper for a lady to move into her husband's house.

I also try to understand from the guys perspective. He may feel not man enough and it can damage the way he sees himself as well as how he thinks his wife perceives him. Majority of guys like being self sufficient so they put on themselves a huge burden of responsibility. You know, sometimes,you just have to ask for help.

**With God nothing is impossible**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Flat(m) .:. Tue, 20 Oct, 2020 - 04:49:41:pm GMT

Hmmm! This is seriously one of the things that have caused a lot of broken homes in our society nowadays. Like I do say that whenever we begin to see ourselves as different entity in marriage, it marks the beginning of an unending problem. Probably we have forgotten part of the vows on the day of the wedding that whatever belongs to the wife belongs to the husband and vice versa. What matters most is the motive behind every action, if the purpose of doing it is reasonable, u personally did not see anything wrong. Now, if the wife’s hand is somehow high than that of the husband and the wife is able to build the house. Well, this might be wrong at start just because of the fact that the husband is not aware right from the beginning and likewise it also wrong for the husband to be building a house and the wife is not aware of it. So, the wife should make sure she opens up to the husband immediately she had the thoughts in mind and she should also ensure that she never ridicule the man because of that. Sincerely, atimes, we can’t really blame some wives that are building houses without the consent of their husbands, if we move closer to them, we would definitely see the reasons behind such acts. A lot of husbands are wasters, they just squander the money anyhow without using it for the purpose in which it was meant for. In such case, the wife will not be blame if the house is built in his absence. 
But one thing that I will encourage is openness between the husband and the wife. You see, men are egoistic and that alone can go a long way on them, men will always want to be respected and will not want to create any chance for disrespect. So, if a man will live in a house built by the wife, it then means the wife is extraordinarily humble. But one thing that should be done here in cases like this is that it must not be known to any other person aside the husband and wife, even family and friends must not know about it.


**--**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Obajichi(f) .:. Mon, 09 Nov, 2020 - 03:28:06:pm GMT


@Lanrhey: I don't see anything in this as long as the man was informed by the woman before she built it. 


    In another case , the woman might want to present it as a surprise to her husband.

    Also, of it is an inheritance from the lady's family, then the man should have no issues living there if it is a better option for them.

   African men might take exceptions to this because they feel that the woman might want to dominate them.

**I love being me.**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Olatoke(m) .:. Wed, 14 Jul, 2021 - 08:34:02:am GMT

We usually turn things upside down in Nigeria,if a woman build a house then people will say she has use her husband glory to build house,saying all different types of things.
There is nothing bad if my wife build a house infact it is a great joy if God bless her to build a house then I have to support her since we all going to live in that house.

I see it as an achievement in marriage living in your own personal apartment .
But here in African if the wife build a house people will poison the mind of the husband and said things that are not good concerning the wife and the house.
**Olatoke **


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Vickybrown(m) .:. Tue, 03 Aug, 2021 - 06:06:33:am GMT

I don't think there's anything wrong in living in the house that was built by your wife.

I know most people might feel it's weird because it's been built by a woman but it's not.


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Vickybrown(m) .:. Tue, 03 Aug, 2021 - 06:10:34:am GMT

@Flochords: It's not about being the husband or being the wife ina marriage relationship.
Its no longer about I, it's now about we because two shall come together to become one. So is your wife own is yours as well.


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Iyanu(f) .:. Sun, 22 Aug, 2021 - 12:27:00:am GMT

Couples are to help each other if women build a house it is a good thing to the family ,husband you have to appreciate your wife ladies are been treated wrongly in the society.
If a woman builds house there is nothing wrong but men will say they can't live in such house.
Sometime God can used the wife for the husband so there is no big deal if your wife builds a house.



**Oladipupo **


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Olatoke(m) .:. Tue, 29 Mar, 2022 - 08:18:52:am GMT

There is no big deal in that , since God has bless your wife to build a house then continue to live happily don't have the mindset that because you are the man it is a must you be the one to build a house.

Your wife is your helper so support her in all ways dont fight her and don't make her feel so guilty of doing things in the relationship.


**Olatoke **


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Wonders(f) .:. Tue, 16 Aug, 2022 - 03:10:19:am GMT

I know the inscription says "Men Speak" so forgive me for butting in, in this discussion because I'm a female. The topic is an interesting and deep one, and my family's comments on the topic are valid.

Some say women have an ego and will turn the table around against them one day. In adding my opinion, I will start by saying, I'm not a feminist and I don't think I will ever be one.

This is because I've come to realize that God has different roles for males and females. And no matter how society tries to paint the picture of women suffering so they must have equal rights, anyone reading their bible will disagree.

If I have a brother who wants to live in the house his woman build, I will tell him that he doesn't have shame. And if I were to be a man, for the sake of my ego, I will never live in a house a woman built.

Stuff like a man collecting money from his woman or a man living on his woman or a man living in a house a woman built always sounds disgusting to me. I'm sorry to say this, but even as a single lady, when I see a guy begging for money from a random lady, presumed to be richer than him, it's always so disgusting to me.

So yes, I will also object to a man living in a house a woman built. I mean I believe the man should stand tall and be the man always. Let's not complicate our lives, please.
**Wonders**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Obajichi(f) .:. Sat, 03 Sep, 2022 - 04:18:28:pm GMT

It depends on the understanding between both of them...

Most things we drag for in life are things that don't count.
We should think more of the future especially if children are involved.

Eventually, that house will be for the children because those parents will pass on someday.

I know of people who are living that way and there's no problem with such arrangement and I know of others who are living like that but they are at loggerheads.

It all boils down to understanding and there's really nothing new under the sun.
**I love being me.**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Olatoke(m) .:. Sat, 10 Sep, 2022 - 08:09:21:am GMT

@Obajichi: well said it is a nice contributions I doesn't mean anything if she build a house then it means both of you have progress.
Women if you are building a house let your husband be aware before its too late.
**Olatoke **


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: SamuelKingsley93(m) .:. Mon, 19 Sep, 2022 - 02:51:40:pm GMT

I think I can but not permanently, it just doesn't feel right living in a house built by your wife.
**Samuel Kingsley**


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Re: Will you Live in A House Built By Your Wife? Men Speak by: Oluwatomisin(f) .:. Wed, 05 Oct, 2022 - 01:29:22:pm GMT

I didn't see anything wrong in a man living in a house that his wife built. You see the world is revolving and things are changing so when you hear someone bringing up a matter don't be surprised. Many people will argue that they can't live in the house they built simply because of what they've heard or read online. Until we take away our marriages from social media we won't get the fullness.

I'm not saying there is not some good advice online but I'm holding saying that a lot is not good enough for a marriage that wants to succeed. I know the responsibility of a man is to provide for his family but let's imagine he can't build a house yet and his wife already has a house. Will you still ask them to rent another house? Never! Wisdom is profitable.

When you both love and understand each other, I don't see anything wrong in you covering up for each other. That's why the Bible calls the woman a helpmeet; that shows she is in your life to give you support. Crave for the wisdom of God and your home will be a wonderful home.


**Always put God first **


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