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Family/Parenting » Trust or DNA by: Flat(m) .:. Mon, 04 Jan, 2021 - 07:16:59:pm GMT
Hmmm! With the current trend of paternity fraud in this country now, can we say trust in a relationship should be based on experiment. With the rate at which men are becoming victims of nursing and caring for a child or children that does not belong to them and yet the women does not feel sober about it. Sincerely, this issue have been ringing on my mind for some time now even before this trend came up on the social media. The thing is, is it a crime to trust ones wife, is it a crime to be overwhelmed by the love of one's wife, is it a crime to be caring and faithful to one's wife and what the wife could use in paying back for all this good deeds of the husband is to bring children that are not of his own to him. Like seriously, some women are just extraordinarily wicked, they are heartless, they are evil, in-fact, they are just all other opposite one can think off.
Apologies to the good women and ladies out there, don't mind my approach, it's the way am feeling within myself. Sincerely, this trend now have left a lot of men out there to be restless, most especially those that there wife are working with male bosses or those that their wife will have to travel countless number of time on business trips, they will all begin to doubt if the truly owns the children. Now, if the men out there begin to request for the confirmation of DNA before accepting the child their wife gave birth to right from the hospital, they wife we begin to say that the husband does not trust with all this thing, can there still be trust.
So, my question now is, should men, either those that are already a father, those that are becoming a father soon or those that are yet to get married should they begin to request for DNA of their children or they should still stand on the love and trust they have for their wife.



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Re: Trust or DNA by: Chamak(f) .:. Mon, 04 Jan, 2021 - 09:23:36:pm GMT

Seriously speaking, it is heart breaking that some women out there are now making it difficult for men to trust nowadays because I tend to wonder sometimes how a woman will be sleeping with another man that is not her husband outside marriage as if that is not enough, she will still have the guts to now get pregnant and deceive her husband that the baby is his own.


What baffles me the most is that there are many women out there that did this and their children have also gotten married and given birth too and these women still have the heart to keep such a thing silent till the day they die, they won't let their husband know that he trained another man's child.

I came across a message that is trending on social media today whereby a man wasn't happy with the woman his son married and he has been complaining. So recently, he secretly carried his grandchildren to the hospital to do DNA test for all of them just to be sure that his son's wife is not cheating on him. But to his surprise, the results showed that the children belonged to his son but their DNA doesn't match his own. Meaning that he is not the father of his own son, he has been training another man's child and his wife never told him. So the way it is now is that he doesn't have a son and those grandchildren belong to the man that his own wife cheated on him with.

After reading  this story today I felt sad because I'm a girl and one day I will like to marry and give birth too but these women doing these things are causing problems because now men will now be finding it difficult to trust women and a relationship without trust won't lead anywhere.



**chamak collections**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Gbasky(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 07:23:52:am GMT

I was about to write something concerning this topic, Mr flat was just faster. I see that it is a very trivial and urgent matter, hence we need to discuss it critically. It is so disgusting, I mean I can't imagine the guts and the ability to live by it after you go out as a woman and bring a pregnancy that is not your husband's, let him nurture it, spend all his money on it, invest so much on it believing that it is his and which is not so, some will even carry it to the grave without saying anything, I can't just imagine how evilly rooted such woman can be. 

Quickly to the question asked, i so much love the way the writer put it, "trust or DNA". This is really far beyond trust circumstances, when you love you don't have to be foolish as well. Yes relationship is about trust but apply the trust when you are suppose to and not act foolishly all because you trust your partner. Now imagine that you have been seeing some signs yourself in that child like he/she doesn't take any of your traits at all. No resemblance, no taking after a particular thing, nothing. It has been bothering you and you just want to trust that the child is yours? You want to play such huge risk on trust when you have a means of checking, a medium of clearing your doubts and confirming your speculations. I don't think simply going for a DNA test does shows that you don't trust your wife, it only means that you want to make a confirmation of that is in your custody.  I believe before such thing like DNA pops up in a marriage or relationship, that means there must have been some smoke in the air, something must have happened, you don't just give birth to a child and immediately carry out a paternity test No, its not like a customary thing, so if you find anything strange about your child or children as the case may be, my brother don't just sit and say you trust your wife, there are ways of confirming trust, go carry out the test and clear your doubts. If I should really say my mind about this, with the rate at which men rears children that are not their own these days, I will suggest that immediately after child birth the test should be carried out, not when there is a problem in the future after so much have been wasted on the child, some men will even go and obtain a loan so as to give the child (that may not be theirs) the best, what an irony of life.
It should be DNA and DNA.

**HGP**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Gbasky(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 08:00:42:am GMT


@Chamak:You can't imagine how much I am boiling inside of me, honestly when I watch these things happen in the movie I don't completely believe it could happen for real, even if it could I didn't expect that it would be this rampant. The things they tell us about stuff like this won't even make us believe that it could happen, what I grow up to learn from my parents and the elderly ones around me is that it is a taboo for a woman to bring a bastard child to the house, I was told that it will bring calamity into the family. The fear of that alone will not make you want to try it as a woman, they even use to tell us that a man can not climb over another man's pregnancy, the man will be wretched completely, when you think about this as a man you will be careful even if you are a womanizer. I mean all these might not be ultimately true but they are basically wrong and morally unacceptable. Now hearing and seeing these things happening now makes me feel that any woman can do this. 

I also heard about the story you shared, imagine that a man just at his very old age realizes that his grown up son is actually not own, ehhhh I can't picture the horror, that's just so terrible. The man might just have stroke and die, what will the supposedly son feel like when he hears about it too, and the grandchildren that have been seeing him as their Grandpa, the child's wife nko? See I don't even want to think about it. The wife should just be sentenced to death by firing squad with immediate effect or she should commit suicide if she knows what's good for her.
So if a woman could do that to the man she claim to love, why then will you as a man will foolishly want to trust her when you see some signs, Mr man please go for DNA. 

I listened to a radio program and they are talking about whether the price of carrying a DNA test should be reduced or even taken higher. According to them, the price of getting a DNA test done varies between the range of 40-140 thousand naira, I.e the older the higher. 
Some say it should be reduced so everyone can just walk straight to the hospital and say oya I want to test if this child is my own, some even make jokes of how they will send their child to the hospital to go and get the paternity test done him/herself If it is made very affordable. But some objects and suggest the price should be taken higher so that peace can reign. Several reactions though but what do you think?


**HGP**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Francis(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 08:14:41:am GMT

Hmmm, this issue is ridiculous!.
First of all, a Godly marriage should not lack trust in any way., Even worldly marriages are built with trust, since they don't expect such from theirs partners. 
It is not possible for a man to have such feelings of doubts to his wife he had loved so much. Afterall, they can't get married if they don't trust each other.
Of course, during courtship, the man may not see any sign of being promiscuous in the lady, but after marriage, she may now show her other side, which is committing adultery., In which the man will be if ignorant of, except when her secrets is exposed.
Another situation I think should cause such act is searching for the fruit of the womb. You know when a woman is so frustrated about having a child, she can go extra mile just to have it, all because she don't want to loose her dignity as a woman., especially if she finds out that her husband is the problem, which he himself knows nothing about(which may be spiritual sometimes).
She may not tell him just because she love him and don't want to loose him. Even some might be because of the man's wealth.
So, she will go ahead to commit adultery, and from there, she will start having her children, which her husband will think he is the rightful owner of the children., Which at the end will cause total separation when the husband find out.

So, there are some women like that that are so heartless.,but that shouldn't mean every other men shouldn't trust their wives. If you want to do a DNA test for your children, it is very right. But let us apply wisdom so as not to cause quarrelling or suspicion in the mind of our good wives.




**Francis**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Flat(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 09:17:20:am GMT


@Chamak:

Like seriously, with the way this thing is going, it will get to a point that bride price or dowry list will only be fulfilled if the children have been confirmed to be the husband’s own because I can’t just imagine myself paying so high just to marry a lady and at the end of the day the lady is bringing children that are not mine for me to nurture; why didn’t she just let me know that am just a nanny or probably a guardian.  Sincerely speaking, mistakes are bound to happen, it might be that when there is disagreement between the husband and the wife, the wife accidentally go intimate with another man; fine, we can say that was not intentional but when I then happen again the second time and even again the third time, it then justify that the wife is nothing but a dog.
I hear of a man that do the DNA of any child the wife gave birth to right from the hospital there even before paying the hospital bills. He will collect the sample and take it to another hospital to do the DNA, if there is correlation that is when he will pay the bills and the wife we go to his house but if the DNA shows no correlation, he won’t pay the bills and the wife will go to her parent house.
You see, ever since have been thinking about this matter, have been thinking that what then can one use to satisfy a lady. Because if a man tried all his God’s given capacity to have a good job, moved from a rented apartment to his own house, tried to stop jumping from one commercial vehicle to another by having his own personal car, eating what he wished to eat at the time he wished and in all of this, the wife is not excluded from it and what she could use in paying back is to bring bastard’s into the house. Now, if the rich ones are doing things like this, what will those that are still looking up to God do.
It is only God that will judge all unfaithful women out there.


**--**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Nagiano(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 10:52:11:am GMT

Thi issue of DNA no be small thing oo. The truth of the matter is that we fail to do some certain things while we are in a relationship with our spouse all in the name of trust and this has cost many Nigerians paternity fraud in their marriages and relationships these days.


I want everyone to know that research has now shown that Nigeria is number 2 in the rankings of countries with the highest rates of paternity fraud worldwide. And I just got to realize that many doctors have secrets that if they open up will lead to a drastic increase in the rate of broken marriages and relationships in the country. 

For example, people needs to learn that trust is earned and not just something we should just say and relax. If you feel like your partner is cheating on you and you want to investigate her, please go ahead, check her phone and even stalk her if possible. If she is truly clean, you are the one that will get tired and the day you decide to stop investigating that your partner, you will develop a very high level of trust for her that even if someone later brings a video of her with another man, you will defend her to the last because you never caught her and that is because she has earned your trust already.

In many marriages in Nigeria, 80 person of the people don't trust their partner and they don't do anything about it until it is too late. Just imagine the rate at which people are now discovering that their wife actually frauded them. The problem now is that for some, it is already too late because they are too old to even do anything again. Many have lost their lives just like the one that just unfolded involving the FCMB manager and another man's wife. The man died after carrying out a DNA test and discovered that all his children belongs to his wife manager. The matter tire me.

**Man United for Life**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Fashnet(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 10:58:40:am GMT


@Francis: Francis thanks for your view and comment on the hot topic. I will like to refer to it as "AS HE DEH HOT". This is a real issue as we have it today and this is fast trending almost all around the whole countries of the world all together.


  Trust or DNA is marriage? First of all as it was in the beginning from time immemorial. Marriage based on trust and love and this has been the way it was and the way it has been from our forefathers and right from creation.

The real issue and problem is actually from the devil himself. He brought people against what God has planned for man and the way it should be. The devil knew that other pleasures of life if introduced to humanity would be highly appreciated.

 So men started getting more that one wives and vice versa. If we look at God's creation from the beginning it would be discovered that God created a woman for man as helps meet and for companionship but people allowed ego and other things to come in.

 Part of the other things that came in are culture, false beliefs, religion, politics, fame, wealth, power and the likes. All these if in any way goes against the will of God is totally against the plan from the beginning and these little by little had their ways in.

 These are the issues that causes "trust" to diminish gradually and people started allowing different forms of atrocities to come in and counter what God put in place from the beginning. It is all these that now became what resulted into the introduction of the application and usage of DNA in place of trust.

**Help the needy and love everyone**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Chamak(f) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 11:06:24:am GMT


@Gbasky:


My dear even me the whole issue made me weak after hearing it because in the end, it will affect women that are yet to get married and that is the repercussion of all the sins of these women that frauded their husbands. 

I find it so disheartening and brutal because come to think of it, if DNA test was never carried out in the first place, so these women will courageously keep quiet and live and die with such a secret. Some people even get to find out after the wife is already long dead.

Sincerely speaking, if it is possible I think DNA test should even be free or very cheap so thatany people who are yet to do it should go and do their own. Because there are still lots of people out there who are still training children that belongs to someone else and they haven't even thought of DNA test before.

I also feel that more awareness should be created as regards DNA test because this will now make many women start confessing or they will just run away because of the shame. And also, they should make DNA test result compulsory to acquire some things in this country just to ascertain that you truly belong to that family name you are answering.

**chamak collections**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Chamak(f) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 11:18:12:am GMT


@Flat:


The man that is carrying out DNA test before paying the hospital bills of his wife is doing the right thing in his own best interest. Human beings are insatiable and sometimes even when you try to move heaven and earth to satisfy that person, he or she will still find something to hold against you in the long run.

I'm so hurt and heartbroken and the way it is now, I support the idea of DNA test before paying bride price because that way you can ascertain that you are training your own children.

This issue has already gotten out of hand and the way I see it, more incidents are yet to be unfolded. I don't have that kind of heart to do such a thing to the man I will marry. For me, it is better we end it and move on rather than me bringing another man's child for my husband in future. I can't stand the shame if the secret eventually unfolds. 

This is one reason why sometimes when I see some people praising our Nigerian culture I laugh. Because many of us have still not realized that Nigeria is just occupying high rankings in many of the fraudulent activities going on worldwide. Poverty rankings now we are number one, unemployment we are up there, life expectancy rate our own is so poor, etc. But na we pray pass. I'm tired of Nigeria my country.

**chamak collections**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Gbasky(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 04:52:00:pm GMT


@Chamak:Its really rare to find a lady that can come out to say something similar to what you have said or show the same side to this issue. Even if majority didn't plan on doing something like that going into marriage, they might just do it if there is case for it, what am even saying, most of those women who did that didn't plan for it, it just happened. 

But if the cost is reduced to zero just as you said it will really carry a lot of weight on the women on the long run.
Many marriages would crumble if that should happen, the way it is now, the cost of carrying out the DNA test is still expensive for some people and that is why they still know peace in their family, the moment this thing becomes free, oh God! I don't know what will happen.
So the pressure will fall back to the women, some men can go as far as threatening their wife to go for a DNA test over their child and this could just affect the woman morally. Anything small mistake from the child or from the woman, the paternity test talk will pop up, you hear stuff like I don't even know if I am the father of these children.  Yea a lot of men say that already but what is still causing a restrain for most of these men is that they can't afford the cost of the test, if not they would have done it even without the wife knowing. Now if the cost is reduced to zero, the paternity test will just become something that is normal and immediately after birth, they carry it out. It will help though to some extent, if the ladies are aware that the DNA test can be carried out anytime and its free, they won't ever want to try and bare a bastard child for their husband. But it will still come back to them on the long run, some men even after doing the test and they confirmed that the child is theirs, they won't still believe it and keep pressurizing the wife and children.

Majority of women will want the price to go up though, lol...Evil people everywhere, God should just deliver us, if my child does not resemble me, na die oo...because in my family we are like original and photocopy, so somebody born for me and the thing does not look like me, then there is a problem somewhere.

**HGP**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Abbey(m) .:. Mon, 08 Feb, 2021 - 08:56:17:pm GMT

There is  nothing called trust anymore did you  just  say trust, trust has make so many homes for our collapsed it is not a crime for the  husband to love and trust his wife but with the  look of things I don't think there is  something called trust  anymore. 

I can't just  believe what is going on, on the social media platform trending around the country that  whenever a DNA test was been carried out on at least  five children four out of  five  will be of another father while the only one will be the right  one, in short another man will taking care u another person children most people neglect DNA test before but now it is  what everyone are doing for their children to confirm either these children are their biological children or not. 


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Vickybrown(m) .:. Tue, 09 Feb, 2021 - 09:42:40:am GMT

                             I strongly feel there's nothing wrong in going for a DNA test with your kids.

                              This is not just common in Nigeria.
                              It is now a common trend in the whole world.
                              As most men strive hard to make ends meet, most of their wives are busy hanging out with other men and on the long run it result to pregnancy.
                                There's a Brazilian footballer known as Paulinho who plays for Bayern Leverkusen.
                               Last month he told the press about how he child began to look like his wife's boss in her place of work.
                               He had no other choice than to go DNA test with his child.
                              The result of the DN A showed that the child was not his biological son.
                              That was so tragic and pathetic for him because he has been taking care of a child that was not his own for 8years.
                               He even encouraged other footballers to also do the same inorder to be sure they are not training another man's child.
                               I don't see anything wrong with going for a D.NA test with your kids.

**Just me**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Ojc(E)(m) .:. Tue, 09 Feb, 2021 - 11:05:24:am GMT


@Vickybrown: Wow that's so tragic.

                          I can see why his form of recent has been poor because he has been psychologically down due to the issue in his marriage.
                          The same thing happened to Josep Illicic a football player who plays  f or Atalanta.
                         He went home last year to pay a surprise visit to his wife.
                          He didn't tell his wife he was coming that exact day.
                         But when he got home, he caught his wife having sex with another man in their matrimonial bed.
                          This was so devastating for him as he could not deal with that situation at that moment.
                         If that man now decides to go for a DNA  test for only his children do you think it's a bad idea? No
                        I don't think there's anything wrong with going for a DNA test with your kids.
          

**LAGOS**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Cletus(m) .:. Tue, 09 Feb, 2021 - 03:45:21:pm GMT

Most women are always found in that act, having another choice outside, which have spoilt many marriage,a man going out to struggle and hustle for another mans property, the dna test is most common among the white, there was a story I heard about a dna test, two couple married having three kids,living under the same roof, the man was a kind of person that walk and struggle, unfortunately he made it, his plan was to fly his family outside the country, he decided on his own that before their flight, they will do a dna test, they did it and found out that out of three kids two was his own, which brought issues to family, when they got home the husband and wife had their privacy, the man keep on questioning the woman how manage this kid is not my child, on that spot the man was so annoyed that he took a object and fling it on the woman at that incident the woman died, a minute later the same man regretted of his act and decided to drink sniper, which also lead to his death too, leaving the three kids at a tender age
**Indigo **


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Obajichi(f) .:. Tue, 09 Feb, 2021 - 08:44:41:pm GMT

    It's disheartening to hear this happening these days. It's becoming devilishly stylish and disgusting too. The bad side is that it is making a lot of men lose their trust for women and be more suspicious of their wives.


     Nevertheless, there's a place for trust and a place to face reality. At this point, with the way things are turning out in this paternity issue, if having a DNA test will clear the air on some suspicious child paternity, then let it be conducted. 

     On the other hand, if the DNA will strengthen the trust between the couple ,then let it be carried out.
I must say that women or single mothers aren't the only ones at fault. There are cases whereby a man denies the pregnancy of a lady that by all indications is his. If a DNA is conducted on that child when it's born, it'll certainly expose the paternity of that child and save the lady a lot of embarrassment.

     Let's get something straight here,DNA doesn't just expose a lady's pretence or deception of her child's paternity but also a man's denial of his child's paternity.


**I love being me.**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Abbey(m) .:. Sun, 18 Jul, 2021 - 10:21:38:pm GMT

Gone in the olden days we can say trust exist but nowadays trust is not advisable because if you as a husband said you trust your wife without DNA test it is a big risk.

There are lot of children out there which the mother only know the actual father for each one , every men should try to let all there children under go DNA so that to confirm either those children are yours or not.

This issue has already destroy many homes,and the major problem is from the mother side .
**Abbey **


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Iyanu(f) .:. Mon, 30 Aug, 2021 - 05:45:58:am GMT

DNA has reveal many hidden secrets in so many homes ,DNA is very important which every one should cobsider necessary .
You as a man will think all the children are yours ,don't think like that untill you do DNA test before you will be assured .
Women are the one who knows exactly the owner of a child you as a man what give you the assurance that those children in your house they are all your biological children it is the woman in the house that can provide answers to that.
This case is most common in Nigeria so many children are basterd .
This is a secret that most women keep in mind for so long period of time .
**Oladipupo **


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Damilola(f) .:. Fri, 15 Oct, 2021 - 09:09:45:pm GMT

TRUST is very crucial in a relationship. Why will you marry someone you cannot trust. You should trust your wife that even if you hear rumors that she is having an affair with another man, you shouldn't believe it.
Don't get me wrong, am not siding the women, am only saying what needs to be done.
If you are in a marriage, and you discovered that your child isn't yours after taking care of the wife for years.,if it is isn't all the children, then you have the right to do justice to that., But if all the children are not yours, there you have to ask yourself, " why didn't she give birth to my child". Of course you are having sex her and yet you are not responsible. If you go see a doctor and find out that you cannot produce a child..of course, that may be the reason why she decided to cheat on you, but that is absolutely bad. She has to tell you no matter what, if she truly loves you.

And if you because of that decided not to trust any other woman and always demand for DNA test, you know the good ones will not be happy with it..they will feel unsafe and untrusted..I mean what kind of marriage is it that we cannot trust one another.
The problem is the foundation..it wasn't well laid.
I rather choose trust to DNA.
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Re: Trust or DNA by: Damilola(f) .:. Fri, 15 Oct, 2021 - 09:12:52:pm GMT

TRUST is very crucial in a relationship. Why will you marry someone you cannot trust. You should trust your wife that even if you hear rumors that she is having an affair with another man, you shouldn't believe it.
Don't get me wrong, am not siding the women, am only saying what needs to be done.
If you are in a marriage, and you discovered that your child isn't yours after taking care of the wife for years.,if it is isn't all the children, then you have the right to do justice to that., But if all the children are not yours, there you have to ask yourself, " why didn't she give birth to my child". Of course you are having sex her and yet you are not responsible. If you go see a doctor and find out that you cannot produce a child..of course, that may be the reason why she decided to cheat on you, but that is absolutely bad. She has to tell you no matter what, if she truly loves you.

And if you because of that decided not to trust any other woman and always demand for DNA test, you know the good ones will not be happy with it..they will feel unsafe and untrusted..I mean what kind of marriage is it that we cannot trust one another.
The problem is the foundation..it wasn't well laid.
**Damilola**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Oluwatomisin(f) .:. Wed, 14 Dec, 2022 - 10:51:16:pm GMT

I don't see any right thing in asking for the DNA of your child if truly you marry a good woman. Marriage is not child's play the way youth nowadays take it to be, why won't you people start asking for their child's DNA when the whole world has turned upside down? People no longer commit to a relationship, guys have as many girlfriends as possible, and ladies date for money.

All these sets of people are the one causing problems although many think when they marry they will change forgetting that what you do often turns out to be a habit and a habit becomes an addiction. To stop such an attitude is to choose to be different from all other people: many of us want a quality man but we've refused to be a quality person.

Build your relationship on the right foundation, don't do what will cause you shame in the nearest future. There's no perfect being, build one another to become better version.

**Always put God first **


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Rachael(f) .:. Thu, 29 Dec, 2022 - 10:59:17:am GMT

Trust is very important in any form of relationship not to talk of marriage relationship which is the highest form of relationship on earth. I don't see a reason why you should request a DNA test if truly you have been living your life on trust for each other.

Many people become heartbroken when it is time to leave the country as a family and the airport asks for a DNA test to confirm the genuinity of the children if they belong to the father. You see many marriages scattered on that day due to the tragedy that follows.

Our generation should stop such instances but it is heartbreaking the rate at which people in relationships cheat not to talk of when they get married. They've all forgotten that you can't just put on a new behavior in marriage instead you cultivate the attitude while single.

We all should learn to be committed regardless of the form of the relationship, especially in romantic relationships. Enjoy your love life with your babes/spouses!

**Life is good**


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Re: Trust or DNA by: Obajichi(f) .:. Thu, 29 Dec, 2022 - 11:46:42:am GMT

In my opinion, if the man is in serious doubt, it's better they go for a DNA on time to avoid stories that touch the heart later.

It is often said that, it's only a woman who can tell the paternity of a child.

This no longer is the case because many women can't be trusted.

Men too can't be trusted either, but if it gets to point of doubt, let a DNA be carried out.
**I love being me.**


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