Love-Stories » She is not a slave by: Francis(m) .:. Thu, 03 Dec, 2020 - 06:44:58:pm GMT

I don't really understand the impression that men has towards their wives.
I think it is said that women are like egg which are suppose to be pampered.
Why is it that some men use them as slaves when the Bible has described them as an helper.
Some men are so senseless to the extent that they marry their wife as full house wife(which is not different from an house maid) who maintains all the whole house chores while you will go to work in the morning, comes back in the night and start backing on the woman who has been working tiredlessly since morning. Some will even beat their wife all because of that.
I know you will be thinking in your mind that "afterall, men work to provide food for the family while the wife stays at home". Sincerely, that was my thought then, but the time I realized that house chores is more vigorous than an official work is when my elder sister got married and becomes sick as a the result of carrying out the duties of a full house wife. She accepted to be a full house wife because of the love she has for her husband, but seriously, her husband turned her into slave and yet she wasn't appreciated for her effort.

Men, why?..you will work out your wife, beat her and at night will forcefully make love with her.
We need to treat our wife with love, care and respect. Just think of what they went through during pregnancy and labour.
Let's help them with whatever we can. There is no crime in sharing house chores with them, we are one!!.
Provide what they need to make their work easier.
By doing these, you will see the good eyes of God.


**Francis**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Chamak(f) .:. Fri, 04 Dec, 2020 - 06:56:15:pm GMT

Nice topic and situations like this are still rampant out there in Nigeria. I have come to realize that one of the ways for some men to change this kind of barbaric act is to first work on their mentality because if you talk from now till tomorrow, some men will still use their wives as slaves at home which is very bad.


Nigeria is a country where growing up as a child, they make you believe that the wife is meant to do all the chores at home, take care of the children and still prepare herself for the other room in the night to be pounced on by the husband after all the tideous work she must have been doing since morning. Meanwhile the man only goes out to look for money and come back home to relax.

This mentality should stop because the major expectations of marriage is that both the husband and the wife should be helpers to each other. So husbands should learn to be able to assist their wives whenever they are at home especially in situations whereby you as a husband returns from work and notice that your wife is weak and tired, it is your duty to tell her to go and rest and assist her in any way possible.

Many marriages these days have turned to royal rumble and the romantic gestures in it is no more. Part of the reasons that causes all this rubbish is when a man or a woman got married because he or she feels that they need the opposite sex to compliment them. You need to really understand your partner especially her good and bad side before jumping into marriage and the same applies to the man. Many people have married boxers, drunkards and assassins as husbands because they didn't take their time to study him or her.

**chamak collections**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Gbasky(m) .:. Mon, 07 Dec, 2020 - 08:58:12:am GMT

Well said there, women are not slaves, they are humans like us(men), why then do we treat them like they don't count for something? Women are our better halves, our other parts, because we paid their bride price and did necessary rights over them doesn't mean we can treat them like slaves. The mentality some men have before getting married even getting married is just so absurd, they think getting married or having a wife will relieve them of things they do by themselves before and thereby settle for a very hardworking one. This kind of people mandate their wives to do all kind of chores day and night, which I did not say is bad but can't be too much.
Getting married to a woman to be a full house wife is not bad at all, of course we can not entirely say that the reason for having a woman as a full house wife is for her to take care of the house, some men don't want their wives working at all. So when you make your wife a full house wife, you don't turn her to a slave.
I find it difficult to give my clothes to my younger sister to wash, because I feel like I am stressing her, this is the kind of feelings I have when my girl friend offers to help me with the washing, I feel kind of burdened. But some men sees it as an opportunity, some even have a special one that does all that for them, it is what it is, I am not saying your wife should not perform her responsibility as a woman in the house, I am only saying you don't have to make her work like a slave. Help her with some of the chores sometimes, don't make her tired all the time knowing that you might still need her to give you her body whenever you request for it. Relieve her of some duties, it does not make you a fool, it does not reduce your authority, it will only make the bond of your love stronger.
I stand for humanhood and womanhood.

**HGP**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Holashayo(f) .:. Mon, 07 Dec, 2020 - 03:26:17:pm GMT

Of course, women are not slave.
This issue has caused a lot of problems in marriages today.
When you see a bachelor today, he can't even afford to cook for himself talk less of keeping the house tidy, and that will master him till he got married.
That mentality of " it is a woman's duty to take care of the house" is all what they take for an excuse.
This issue also occurs when there is partial in the distribution of works to children in the house, where the female child will be asked to do most of the chores or even all just because she is a woman. Are men not meant to work?.
The painful thing is that, they will create wrong impression in the life of the male child and that will makes him to treat his wife like a slave, even if his wife is sick, he won't help because he doesn't know how to go about it.
This is very bad, please women are not slaves.

**Damiswag**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Chiboy(m) .:. Mon, 07 Dec, 2020 - 04:00:16:pm GMT

Woman is very important in the life of everyman , that is why they are refer as a man soul mate or better half. the prayer of everyman isto get married to his wife and not to buy a slave. If you love her to the extent of asking her hand in marriage,why then do you maltreat her after marriage.

It is true that is the responsibility of every woman to take care of her home. But the husband should also be considered at times, knowing this women are not machinery, they get tired and most times needs help from their husband.
I am not against a man asking his wife to be a full time house wife, he might have his personal reason for the decision, but she being a full house wife does not make her a slave. Women are meant to be treated with love care and respect. Compliment your wife at every opportunity you have, make her feel love and valued.
Some men beat up their wife or bark at them because they forgot to do something not considering all the house chores they have been doing since morning.
If we as men can not assist our wives with the house chores then let assist them by getting machinery that can help them make the work less fatigue.

**Chiboy**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Chamak(f) .:. Mon, 07 Dec, 2020 - 08:38:00:pm GMT

With the comments I have seen as regards this topic, it shows that some youths are aware of the way that women are being treated in marriages in our society. I can say that only very few marriages have women that are at liberty in their marriage, but the rest of them are marriages whereby the women can't even give any suggestion that will be accepted by the husband.


Marriage is supposed to bring about freedom of expression between the two partners. They are supposed to be each other's helper both in good and bad times. They are supposed to respect each other and support each other.

Men should stop treating their women as slaves, they should stop despising women and this also goes to the men in the society who are not yet married. Because they too belittle single ladies too out there and sometimes fail to respect them. One of the steps to combating the issues of divorce in the society is for the men to start seeing their wives as their partner and helper and not their slaves in their marriages.

**chamak collections**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Flat(m) .:. Tue, 08 Dec, 2020 - 03:13:49:pm GMT


@Chamak:

Hmmm! There is one thing that I usually have in mind that no one can actually successfully make you what you are not if you did not create a space for that. So, I don't really believe that a man is making his wife a slave. I know you all might be surprised about this thing am saying but I want you to understand something's before you go ahead to judge me.
You see, I want us to understand that the idea of becoming a full housewife is not always initiated by the husband, most of it are usually initiated by the wife and most time when you ask them what they want be to doing while being a full housewife, most want to just sit down doing nothing which you know it won't be possible. Now, this thing is understandable, if you won't be going out of the house to work, it then means you should get busy with something at home. So, when they requested to be a full housewife, some even go ahead to request for salary which those that are capable of it do pay it. And yet you will still see them saying it all around that they are being treated by slaves. If you complain about the stress you are going through being at home as a housewife, do you also know the stress your husband is going through in his place of work, do you know the kind of target that is being required of him to meet to still be at that office, do you know if he is passing through any pressure at all and yet he still fulfil is responsibilities in the house.
So, rather than we blaming and complaining, I think we both should all concentrate on our office and do it right. Let the husband go to work and take care of the family and at the same let the wife concentrate on our office which is to take care of the home. Let me say this, no man does not think of assisting their wife at home but you trying to make it a compulsory act in an authoritative manner is what won't be possible.


**--**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Wonders(f) .:. Mon, 04 Jan, 2021 - 01:34:49:am GMT

I must confess that am really impressed by your opinion and I wish all men out there will be able to reason the same with you,by now we will have less of miserable men instead we will have more of successful men.Yes!that is truth,because there is a covenant between you,your wife and God,when you don't treat your wife well,there is no way God will bless you because am very sure you would have at some point promise to take care of her and now you are failing.God won't answer your prayers ooo.

The same way there are just some specific roles for the man,am aware there are also to some extent specific roles for the woman but if we are to weigh the responsibilities of a man and that of a woman,that of a woman is actually more and that is why you need to be helping your wife out of the house chores especially in a situation where you don't have a maid or any helping hand,you really need to be helping out .
If it is now in a situation where she also work,mister man,you wife is a rare gem for being able to combine work and wifey duties together and she really needs your help in the house.it is not easy at all.
It drains someone emotionally, it could turn her into something else that she isn't like she can become bitter or resentful or withdrawn.
But instead of crossing your leg over the table watching news all the time,you go and help her out,it will increase her love for you!its shows you are warm towards her and you really care for her.Things become easy to do even the bible says that"two are better than one" and as you causes your wife's face to shine more,she prays for you the more and you get to enjoy more of God's blessings and your home is a happy one too.
These things are really simple,all you guys need to do is to let go of your ego sometimes and fold up sleeves and get to work like a responsible man.i rest my case!.

**Wonders**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Francis(m) .:. Mon, 04 Jan, 2021 - 03:48:43:pm GMT


@Flat: I partially agree with what you said that some women are the ones issueing slavery to themselves. I just I want you to understand that when a woman tell you that she want to be a full house wife, that means she is somehow lazy or maybe she has a fragile body., But you as a man, you must not be so foolish to the extent of Making use of that opportunity to work her up. It is either you open a shop for her in the cause of taking care of the children or you make her understand that you can't cope with a lazy woman., And wheras, no woman want to be a full house wife nowadays.

I did not say that women should not perform their duties in the house, what I really mean is that, men should provide the machines that Will Make work easier for them, if he has the money., they should always appreciate their efforts, and they shouldn't use them as a punching bag, For Christ sake!.


**Francis**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Flat(m) .:. Tue, 05 Jan, 2021 - 02:57:11:pm GMT


@Wonders:

Sincerely speaking, with my little stay on earth, have come to realized that a lot of ladies our there does not want to work but they want to enjoy the reward of those that work. Oh! Since there is full housewife, maybe there should be full househusband, and we would see if hunger will not finish everybody. Just because you are doing some house chores, does that make you a slave. Life have even been made easy, you can even apply for housemaids online and they will come to do the house chores for you. Probably we have forgotten that as a wife you are meant to be of support to the husband and not just to come and sit down but the reverse is the case now, a lot of wife out there just want to collect and not making contributions contribution not in terms of finance but in terms of advice.
Now, you said if we are to weigh the responsibilities of a man and a woman together, that of a woman is more than the man's own I will not want to personally agree with that. I need you to understand that the man are passing through a lot, starting from the pressure of workplace, coming down to the call of family members. Let's even say that the house chores are much, you can't authoritatively tell your husband to come and wash plate or that he should come and sweep the floor. An incident happened sometime ago, a man do assist his wife in all those chores and on a particular day, he didn't do that chores and the wife was then insulting him for not doing it does that make any sense at all.
So, the thinking that a man is making a woman a slave is out of laziness, if the wife is not lazy, she won't be thinking that her husband is planning to make her a slave or probably she is already a slave.


**--**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Wonders(f) .:. Thu, 14 Jan, 2021 - 08:12:33:am GMT


@Flat:

If we happens to be in the olden days time,I would have felt little bit of remorse for what I wrote.
Who is doing house wife again in this generation?is it now that you people have form stingy men association that a woman will not go and find her way.
You talked about work pressure,oh its only men that now goes to work bah?woman just sit at home all day.
You talked about family pressure, so you mean women don't have family pressures bah,they are always the single child of the family bah?common!what are you saying.
If you don't want us to ask you authoritatively, then you guys should use your brain and help out.but seriously, It is very rare for a woman to ask authoritatively, it is only when she must have been really stressed out and frustrated that she can come out that way.

**Wonders**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Darey112(m) .:. Thu, 14 Jan, 2021 - 12:53:19:pm GMT

Going by Biblical principles, wife is an help mate, a companion, best friend. Women are not by any means lower than men. Bible says, she is brought out of the men, that means, they are part of us. So, I really dislike the attitude of some men treating their wife as a slave I pity them. If you treat her well there is blessing for it. Verse versa.
**Aremo**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Oluwatomisin(f) .:. Fri, 15 Jan, 2021 - 09:24:20:am GMT

Oh yes!

She's not a slave she's an helpmeet given to you by the Lord. African mentality has caused a lot of havoc in this modern world because some men still think we are in the olden days whereas this is a New Era, New Day and A New Beginning. When God gave Eve to Adam he didn't tell him that Adam this is your Servant or Slave instead he said this is your HELPMEET. That implies that we are meant to support and help eachother and it shouldn't be a One-sided thing.

The wrong mentality we have that says Wives are to do everthing is the one making our Marriages to fail because Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not to be Endure but this can't happen if both parties are not ready to be intentional about it. For something to work it needs the both parties to work on it and we should have it at the back of our heart that it's too late for our Marriage to fail.

God instituted marriage and is for our own benefits. Untill we are ready to make a Change the rate of divorce won't reduced. Let your marriage glorify God! Husbands love your wife unconditionally you know when you love someone it's very rare to use the person anyhow. The most funniest part of it is during courtship you treat this ladies as if they are everything you want in life so what happen in marriage.? Common she's still the same person treat her like the queen you met when you want to ask her out.

Dear ladies, when uncle now start treating you like a queen that doesn't mean you should be lazy or start setting work aside for him to do when it comes back from work. That isn't right instead let him do it out of love. Don't say because we now said you're not a slave you won't sweep or cook for him anymore. Always respect him and he will keep loving you over and over again.

In conclusion, marriage is not hard when both parties believes in God and also when they are ready to make it work. Always ask God to teach you the best way to love your spouse and everthing will work out well. Love is sweet! Love your partner unconditionally.

**Always put God first **


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Yahyaafeezolamilekan(m) .:. Wed, 20 Jan, 2021 - 08:30:11:pm GMT

When God created Adam, he was so lonely in the big garden and he had nobody to talk to. God realized his plight and then created a woman (Eve) to be his comforter and helper.

There might have been a time in the medieval era when women are treated badly and not much regarded in the society. Infact, in the ignorance period of the Arabs, women were being berried life because of fear that they might not be useful to them.

Even in most African cultures in the past, women are looked low of and regarded as second class human. Their rights were being taken from them and they have no say in critical matters that concern them.

But this is the era of civilization where women should be respected and taken care of in the society. Even the Quran said that women should be called the name of their fathers even after marriage. This means that the Quran stands for the women well and said that instead of them being called the name of their husbands after marriage, they should be called with the name of their parents.

It's quite unfortunate in this our civilized era to see many men treating their women like slave. They violates most of their rights and don't care for their well being. What they are failing to realize is that they are also violating God's law by treating their women badly.
Women are supposed to be regarded as the helper they really are and not like slaves.

**Olamilekan1692**


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   Re: She is not a slave by: Osaroju(m) .:. Sat, 23 Jan, 2021 - 09:51:37:pm GMT

Kudos brah
**Don't be a good student and a bad teacher.**


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