Family/Parenting » My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Suede(f) .:. Tue, 11 Feb, 2014 - 08:45:07:pm GMT

I'm now over 20 years old and I live in Lagos. I am a tattoo artist and have a degree in art (I finished my college in two years). My mom disapproves of my job and that is why she demands a key to my apartment that I pay for with my money. The only reason I gave it to her is because I didn't want to hurt her (my father just died). Anyways the other day she caught me with some of my friends drinking and smoking and stuff and she walked in and made them leave like I was sixteen. I know I need to ask her to give me the key back or change the lock i just do not want to hurt her so what do I say so she doesn't hate me. I just need to move on with my life. But I don't know what to say to her without her getting pissed. Any suggestions?


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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Harddude(m) .:. Tue, 11 Feb, 2014 - 08:46:13:pm GMT

Just say to her,: "Can I have some privacy please, Mom?"
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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Kissy(f) .:. Tue, 11 Feb, 2014 - 08:53:21:pm GMT

She loves you and would rather protect you as she has just lost her partner, you dad
**Seeing is believing to those who do not have faith**


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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Fazil123(f) .:. Tue, 11 Feb, 2014 - 08:56:00:pm GMT

Realize that your mom will never hate you - she loves you. She lost her partner so she's projecting all her love and concern onto you. She just doesn't know what else to do and to keep her busy.
I suggest you sit her down and tell her that you love her very much but that this is YOUR apartment that YOU pay for and that it's YOUR home and you're not a child and she has no right to tell your friends or anyone else to leave. It's your space and she needs to respect it. And for this reason, you ask for the key back because you feel like she's taken advantage of why you gave it to her in the first place.
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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Sambadancer(f) .:. Fri, 14 Feb, 2014 - 04:26:14:am GMT

I think she loves and cares for you, and you don't seem to have won her confidence that she can trust you
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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Womanowar(f) .:. Sat, 15 Feb, 2014 - 04:20:11:am GMT

Oh, your mom loves you, she just doesn't trust you that you are not going to get yourself into trouble: you got to earn and win her trust first. Good mom
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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: HotCakeAt43(f) .:. Tue, 25 Feb, 2014 - 10:31:16:am GMT


Quote from Suede:

I'm now over 20 years old and I live in Lagos. I am a tattoo artist and have a degree in art (I finished my college in two years). My mom disapproves of my job and that is why she demands a key to my apartment that I pay for with my money. The only reason I gave it to her is because I didn't want to hurt her (my father just died). Anyways the other day she caught me with some of my friends drinking and smoking and stuff and she walked in and made them leave like I was sixteen. I know I need to ask her to give me the key back or change the lock i just do not want to hurt her so what do I say so she doesn't hate me. I just need to move on with my life. But I don't know what to say to her without her getting pissed. Any suggestions?


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I see a juvenile girl wanting to be free to do all sort of psychedelic stuffs, and a loving mom protecting her in motherly concerns.
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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Funmo(m) .:. Mon, 16 Feb, 2015 - 03:00:38:pm GMT

PRIVACY PARENTS AND CHILDREN WARS

Parents never really see the issue of privacy as a very big deal. Most often times, they wouldn't just agree that you have outgrown their unsolicited and constant checks. They fact that they watched you grow doesn't mean you are no longer their baby. You will forever be one. Just that they can always take things far and that often gets on our nerves. A child starts to feel the reason for privacy from adolescence and through the teenage years. They shouldn't be blamed, if they don't look out for you, who will? But, as to every problem, there is always a solution. If you feel your parents aren't giving you your space, here are ways to go about getting your privacy:

TALK IT OUT

Talk to your parents when you feel they aren't giving you your space. Let them know why you wish to have your own privacy. It could be to study undisturbed, hang out with your friends without prying eyes, be alone with your love, and concentrate on a task without being disturbed. Whatever the reason is, lay them out purposefully and let them be able to reason with you. Your approach will determine if you win the bid for your privacy or not.

ACT RESPONSIBLE

Most times, the reason why parents are on the children's neck is because they aren't responsible. They don't want you to mess up things, as that is what you are fond of. Start being responsible and watch things change.

GIVE YOURSELF SPACE

If you always around your parents, they also want to reciprocate the company. Keep to yourself once in a while and they will get the message.

BE TRUSTED

Be trusted. If they can trust you, they can be sure of your safety.


**ORIGINAL, CREATIVE AND A SUPERSTAR IN THE MAKING**


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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Velisa(f) .:. Tue, 12 Mar, 2019 - 01:31:59:pm GMT

Your mom loves you. She does not want anything bad to happen to you. She just lost her partner, she does not want to loose you too. And from your story, you are really the type that needs such a mother. Smoking and drinking and a tattoo artist again. And I can perceive you want the type of freedom that you can do as you wish at anytime. Your mom only want you to be responsible. She only want you to be a good example. I will advice you listen to her. Your way of life has given her reasons to been overprotective.

**Determined**


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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Gooddypye(f) .:. Wed, 13 Mar, 2019 - 02:00:11:pm GMT

Well... I feel she is just been protective. But she's becoming overprotective. At least as a matured person you deserve some space if not all the time but most times. I think you really have to play wisely. So, she won't perceive. Since you said you don't want to hurt her and it's a good thing you thought of. It's not really good to hurt ones mother. So, you just have to play mature. Maybe instead of having fun with friends in your own house. You can visit them and have the fun at theirs at least by doing that your mom won't know your where about. But I felt you are also living a kind of life that really deserves such a mother. Cause your career and your drinking and smoking habit is something to drive such a mother crazy. Maybe you can make some adjustments in your way of life, that will also limit some of her actions.
**Fearless**


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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Oma_maron(m) .:. Thu, 14 Mar, 2019 - 07:18:57:am GMT

What privacy are you asking for, from your mom, when clearly you have shown and proven that you are not matured enough to live alone or handle responsibilities, just because you have money to rent an apartment doesn't mean you're responsible, it only means you have money to rent an apartment, and age has got nothing to do with it, I can understand you drinking but smoking with your friends alongside drinking when your mom is around or living with you is a sign of disrespect, you can do that at your friends place and I might be lenient with you but bringing that attitude home where your mom stays isn't nice at all, she might be living with you now but you as a child lived with her for over twenty years and you can't take that away from her, the person you are today is majorly because of the role she played and now you need privacy from her not that you are married, imagine if your mom had collected privacy or needed privacy from you when you were 1 year old and abandoned you, you probably wouldn't be here saying this rubbish, I am still yet to understand what you'll gain from smoking, don't use your childish attitude to kill your mom before her time, God won't be happy with you at all, and always have this at the back of your mind that you are all your mum has got!!! To be forewarned is to be forearmed!!!
**Graced **


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Re: My mom gives me no privacy.? by: Piwizo(m) .:. Thu, 14 Mar, 2019 - 09:22:32:am GMT

This children of nowadays don't even have regards and respect for their parents again, we don't value culture and behave like people without training and manners, what is this one even saying, tattoo artist from all the jobs that are available you chose to do a job that will lead you to hell and that's leading people to hell, didn't God say we should draw anything in our bodies in Leviticus, and now you're drawing it on people's body not just that, you're drinking and smoking in addition to it, that's very dangerous and sad because you are breaking your moms heart, considering the fact that your dad her husband is late, you would have just adjusted your life and change your ways, who knows whether it's not this same attitude of yours that killed your father due to results of too much thinking, now you're repeating the same thing to your mother, whether you like it or not she's still your mom and you're still her baby, so I'll suggest you start acting matured and giving her some respect, because if anything happens to that woman, her blood will be on your head, so be wise!!!
**positive**


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