Babe-Fishing/Dating » My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Mizhbell(f) .:. Tue, 08 Jan, 2019 - 08:06:58:pm GMT

My boyfriend and I are very much attached to each other. We can vex for naija and always sort things out easily, sometimes we would remind each other our wrong dids, look for what to blame each other. Well, the sweetest part is that we always knows how to apologize to ourselves. But one thing my guy lack is having a little trust for me, that's one thing i value most in a relationship. Why I said he is lacking the ability to trust me is this, My job is an house keeping job, I resumes 7:30am and close by 6shock0pm everyday. And my employer is a man, my work is to clean the house and cook if necessary. Sometimes my guy will call me when am busy in the kitchen cooking while my phone will be at the sitting room charging, but anytime I check the phone and see his missed call I do return the call, while returning the call, he would ask why my voice is low and when I tries to explain myself he would conclude that am having affair with my boss that's why i always miss his call and speak with a low tune. I don't know why it's hard for my boo to understand my nature of work. I have tried making him understand but it seems my efforts isn't enough. He just feel am cheating on him with my boss and it's not true. But this job is bringing a serious problem to my relationship and I don't want to loose both. Am so confused right now, pls I need an advice for this.


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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Piwizo(m) .:. Wed, 09 Jan, 2019 - 07:46:37:am GMT

First of all, I will not let my babe to engage herself with a chore that requires her to work for a man and possibly cook for him, does the man she's working for not have a job, so the man will be at home alone with my babe from morning till evening on a daily basis, see it's not a matter of trust, Everyman has ego, and that your voice is constantly low means there must be something happening because I see no reason you can't pick your boos call when you're working, it's not as if he wants to talk with you for the whole duration of your work, also if he is suspecting you it's because you gave him reason to suspect you, especially with your low voice, let's tell ourselves the truth there must be something going on between you and your boss to even think of not wanting to loose the two, if am the man in the relationship then you will definitely loose me if you can't quit the job, after all I am the head of the home!!! So you will choose if you're married to me or you're married to your job!!!

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Gooddypye(f) .:. Wed, 09 Jan, 2019 - 08:02:11:am GMT

I don't know if your boss is always home. But what i have to say is, if you boo is seeing reasons to prove that you are into affairs with your boss. Then you have to make him trust you. You have to convince him with your actions if you are actually truthful to yourself that you have no affairs with your boss. And if your boyfriend has being requesting you quit the job but you have refused so hardly with good reasons, it will make him more worst about the issue. Your boyfriend loves you and only trying not to loose you. So, if you truly love him and still want to keep that job. Then be plain to him. Keep the phone with you when working. So, you can always pick his calls when he calls. Brighten your tone of voice, let it be it is when something is wrong at work you give that low tone so, he could understands that something is wrong with his babe. You can send love text message to him at work some times. Call him whenever you are less busy and let hm know you will soon start working in the next few minutes. Make him trust you with your actions.

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Mizhbell(f) .:. Wed, 09 Jan, 2019 - 07:58:12:pm GMT

@piwizo: . We aren't married yet and we does not stay together as well. About me not been able to pick the call at the time he calls doesn't mean I don't return his calls back, I always do call back to let him know i was not with the phone, I do explain myself to him usually, and my low tone shouldn't be enough reason for his doubts, he knows too well that I have a small voice which is just sound like a bed room voice .....Lol. But i know he is just been insecure of me working for a guy. Well, the reason why i don't want to loose my job either, is because i aren't having another job at hand, and before one need to quit a present job, that person must have had one before quitting. Besides i don't want to sit at home being idle. Being idle is never a good idea and i can't risk it. But its so true that my boss doesn't stay at home most time, he's always out. Well, i gat your point every man has that atom of jealousy in them ......thanks for that piece of advice.

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Mizhbell(f) .:. Wed, 09 Jan, 2019 - 09:05:21:pm GMT

@Gooddypye: Wow, @goodypye I love that phrase of yours of calling him when am less busy and letting him know my next work schedule in next few minutes, that's so cool and Brightening my tone of voice sure, will do just that.Thank you, you have Rilly given me utterances. But one thing we must know is this, as all fingers are not equal, all faces are not the same, all characters are not the same. That's how all men are not the same. Mr. A tries nasty with his house keeper doesn't mean Mr.B will also do dsame. So i think my boo is just acting suspicious because he has heard things like that do happens so his scared it might also happen with me. But my boss is not such a kind of person, people are different. Am not trying to support my boss, is just a true fact.

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Divinkeme1(m) .:. Mon, 18 Feb, 2019 - 01:49:14:pm GMT

This things do happen but the mist important thing to do is always to give equal attention to both the job and your boyfriend. In as much as the job is important to bring steady income to the house I will say if you ask me your boy friend too us important if not more because if its a real working relationship you guys will soon get married to start a future. So as you go about doing well to keep your job going try also to be on good terms with your boy friend because he is still the man. Don't always do things that will get him upset to make it look like you choose the job over him. Don't give excuses like you are been so busy in the office, work is pressing me etc. All of this will contribute to him saying you are choosing job over me. So be wise, careful and keep movie
**Blessed by God**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Oma_maron(m) .:. Tue, 19 Feb, 2019 - 09:04:57:pm GMT

If you don't have anything to hide, why don't you pick his call, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your boo calling you at any particular time of his choice, he is your man and deserves some respect, if I were to be in his shoes, I will think the same and probably we will no more be together because I will give you an ultimatum to either quit the job or the relationship is over, so you have to decide were your loyalty lyes. Your actions clearly point to the fact that there's an affair, with your low voice tone, and for him to even suspect you means that he has been very observant, so my dear change your ways, you can't have fun with your boo after work and also have fun with your boss at work! Every normal guy will be upset
**Graced **

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Velisa(f) .:. Fri, 08 Mar, 2019 - 02:51:14:pm GMT

My dear... You have to keep trying to convince him that there is absolutely nothing between you and your boss expect work and pay. The guy we are talking off here is your fiance not your husband. Nothing has given the assurance of him marrying you. Don't leave your job because of a guy who you are intending to marry and has not married you. Let him know that when he marries you, you will leave the job. He is still a boyfriend. Can ladies stop keeping themselves in condition because of boyfriends,who don't even know what love is? Love is trust. If your partner truly loves you, he would trust you. Be sincere to him, my dear if you look into him very well he could also have a girl he's dating apart from you. And he is suspecting the same thing on you. Don't leave your job because of a boyfriend. Leave it because of a husband. That guy can say it's over at any time. I mean any time and you will end up being nothing. No job, no money, he used you and dump you. Just be sincere to him. Brighten your voice anytime he calls. When you are less busy, call him. At times go on video calls. If he does not trust you after trying all your best, then let him go. What's the fake thinking that she's having affair with her boss? Should every story end the same way? What if the boss was a female, will all this happen? Let's stop thinking otherwise and be truthful. A boyfriend is not a husband. A boyfriend can dump you at any time. They are not legally recognize as your husband. You are not bearing their name. Just because they give you five Naija daily does not mean they are registered as husband. They will leave if they are not the right person. Let your boyfriend trust you or he walks away.

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Fellybabe(f) .:. Wed, 12 Jun, 2019 - 12:09:19:am GMT

You don't want to loose both?

Like you said now, he's your boyfriend. A lover you mean to say. Not your husband, you are not even engaged to him. That means he can break up with you at anytime.

My dear, any guy that can not trust you, is not worth to be your partner.

The reason he can't trust you is because, he is double dating and also feels you could do the same.

Because if he is not. He won't be doubting you for anything when he didn't catch you with your Boss having sex or saw some chats or text messages you got from your Boss that will make him know you are dating your Boss.

My Dear, you better wise up. A guy who does not tryst you can never love you. Love comes with trust.

So, you better not loose your job because of some so called guy who does not trust you.

Am sure you know how hard it is in our country to get a job.

**God's light**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Flat(m) .:. Fri, 26 Jun, 2020 - 02:59:07:am GMT

My job or my boyfriend
Like I often say, whatever will happen in the marriage will definitely give you a signal when you guys are still dating or courting. So, if you find it difficult to settle it now, you will definitely find it so hard to settle it then. It is so much important that you deal with every signals as they show up, this will help you to have a strong assurance that your marriage will be safe. Like me as a man, I so much love it when a lady is hardworking, it gives me joy that even if am dead, my children will still be good, so for you having a job, it is a good, so don't drop it if you are yet to find a replacement.
Sincerely speaking, it is normal for a guy to feel inconvenient when he sees another guy around his woman, like seriously, if he doesn't feel jealous, that simply means, the percentage of your love in his heart is low. So, if he act jealously because you are working for a man, it's normal but it will become abnormal when he still continues to act in such manner after you have explained to him with sincerity from your heart. If he still continues, then the issue of insecurity is gradually coming in. Let's ask ourselves, is there any organisation that you will work for and it will only be females, am not sure if it exist.
But I think the best you can do is for you both to go for counselling because this issue is so dangerous to the future as little as it is. So, handle it now, go for counselling, attend seminars, read books. All this should not be done by one person alone, both should be involved. And be prayerful. If after doing all this, it still doesn't workout. I think you should just drop the relationship. I do say something, you don't satisfy a man at the expense of you being sad. The satisfaction should also make you happy.


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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Boldbis(f) .:. Fri, 26 Jun, 2020 - 03:13:54:am GMT

Like I frequently state, whatever will occur in the marriage will give you a sign when you all are as yet dating or seeking. Along these lines, on the off chance that you think that its hard to settle it now, you will discover it so difficult to settle it at that point. It is so much significant that you manage each sign as they appear, this will assist you with having a solid affirmation that your marriage will be protected. Like me as a man, I so much love it when a woman is dedicated, it gives me satisfaction that regardless of whether am dead, my youngsters will in any case be acceptable, so for you having a vocation, it is a decent, so don't drop it in the event that you are yet to discover a substitution.

Earnestly, it is typical for a person to feel badly arranged when he sees another person around his lady, as truly, in the event that he doesn't feel envious, that basically implies, the level of your affection in his heart is low. Along these lines, in the event that he demonstration enviously on the grounds that you are working for a man, it's typical however it will become anomalous when he despite everything keeps on acting in such way after you have disclosed to him with earnestness from your heart. On the off chance that he despite everything proceeds, at that point the issue of frailty is step by step coming in. How about we ask ourselves, is there any association that you will work for and it might be females, don't know whether it exist.

However, I figure all the better you can do is for you both to go for guiding on the grounds that this issue is so hazardous to the future as meager for what it's worth. In this way, handle it presently, go for guiding, go to courses, read books. This ought not be finished by one individual alone, both ought to be included. Also, be pious. On the off chance that in the wake of doing this, it despite everything doesn't exercise. I figure you should simply drop the relationship. I do say something, you don't fulfill a man to the detriment of you being miserable. The fulfillment ought to likewise satisfy you.


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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Glamour(f) .:. Fri, 26 Jun, 2020 - 05:21:47:pm GMT

Dear, what will be will be. Don't stress if after explaining yourself he still accuses you give up on explaining. In this our wonderful country that people are looking for jobs and the one you have is not as if you have a choice. If you were not with this guy the only thing I would say you should be bothered about is getting raped. Since it's just you and your boss of which wouldn't be around everyday. Trust is important in any kind of relationship even between buyers and sellers. Unless you have cheated before but still doesn't give him the right to doubt you unless he hasn't moved on from that mistake. It is up to you miss to be sincere if you know your boss is hitting on you start looking for another place cause one way or the other you might loose the job if you are not careful. You don't know if this your boss is your helper, the person that would move you from your present state to a better one. So girl don't let a relationship especially the fact that you guys are not married be the reason to loose your job. Truth be told no matter how much your boo loves you if he isn't yours you can't keep him and don't be shocked in the nearest future he won't look back when it comes to his own success. Be wise and prayerful. Don't be trapped in any of these two things your job or your relationship. When it's time to pick choose wisely. When money enter love is sweeter. Until boo can give a job don't loose your job.
**God's favorite**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Toxyron(f) .:. Sat, 27 Jun, 2020 - 06:05:56:pm GMT

My dear,A relationship without trust is a waste of time,your partner feels insecure about every little thing you do, does he not have a Job that he's always calling every time .....

You just have to keep proving to him that you are not cheating on him with your boss...Wait sef ordinary boyfriend,If the Job makes you happy keep doing it after leaving this Job,This same boyfriend may still leave you for someone more better...If I am the one I wouldn't leave the Job unless he has a better offer for me,But u can't come and be spitting trash just because you feel insecure about me, What's the use of staying in a relationship that lacks Trust
Most importantly follow your heart


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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: ACETONE(m) .:. Sat, 27 Jun, 2020 - 10:26:55:pm GMT

For me, I will say you should pick you boyfriend since he is not ready to understand the nature of your job. So I advice you try and source for another job that won't be won't about you guys having trust issues. Or maybe when you get married to your boo. He makes you a full housewife, Lol. I believe he is a jealous man which is normal.

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Victoria(f) .:. Sat, 01 Aug, 2020 - 12:29:42:pm GMT

My job or my boyfriend. This topic has been a bone of contention in many relationships and also a topic that has been a source of arguments around the globe. Which one do you feel matters the most, your job or your boyfriend. Take it this way, if you were asked to drop one between your job and your boyfriend which one would you let go of. This is only applicable when you have a good job or a job that you love and also a boyfriend that you love and most definitely not when you have to choose between a job you hate and a boyfriend that basically provides money for you or a job you love and pays well and a boyfriend who you've been planning to break up with for years now.
There was this tweet I saw on Twitter. A man said, if you know that she is not going to give you the care and attention that you need as a boyfriend because of her career then you should make her resign and then make her open a shop instead. I don't want to ever hear anyone tell me that nonsense ever in my life. Leave my well paying nine to five job and open a shop. Selling what? My pride? My wasted years in the university? My sanity? No way. Things do not work that way.
To me, men who make women choose between them and their jobs are just plain insecure. They say it's because the lady spends too much time working and Dy default doesn't have enough time for the relationship. While she's working, please what on earth are you doing? How is it that you have so much free time for all these chit chats and to make all these ridiculous comments. If you had a job that was as demanding as hers, then you definitely wouldn't have the time for all this.

**Live, love and heal...**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Victoria(f) .:. Sat, 01 Aug, 2020 - 12:30:14:pm GMT

First things first, you're not even her husband or her fiancé yet. You are a boyfriend. You're still at the first stage of the relationship and you're already nagging. What happens when you get married? I hope you realize that boyfriends can easily be replaced.
Do you expect that when you get married she would be a stay at home wife or she'll open a shop to start selling provisions in front of the house. Imagine if she had a degree in Law or maybe Engineering and she had spent more than the usual five years in the university, read harder than most students and then you tell her that if she wants to keep you, she has to forget all those things that she did and then stay in your house cooking your meals, doing your laundry, waiting on you all the time basically being at your beck and call.
Your girlfriend also needs her financial emancipation. The sale boyfriend that wants her to quit her job is the same one that would later end up complaining that he's the only one bringing a source of income to the relationship and that he doesn't want to have to cater for her needs all the time and all.
It's still this same boyfriend that would compare the girl friend to other ladies in his place of work saying how independent they are and how he wants her to be independent like that too. She was ready to be independent before you put a stopper on her plans. For what reason? All because you feel you need care and attention. Everyone needs care and attention, please but wait till she actually has the tile before you start demanding for it. It's not like she doesn't want care and attention too. She does. I'm very sure she also wants to spend more time with you but you don't see her asking you to leave your job, do you?

**Live, love and heal...**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Victoria(f) .:. Sat, 01 Aug, 2020 - 12:30:45:pm GMT

So, ladies no one has the right to lane you choose between them and your job. If it seems he's proving difficult then ask him if he can also choose between you and his job. For real, if he's capable of asking you to leave your job for him then he also should be able to make the sacrifice because there is definitely no rule that states that it must me the lady that has to quit her job for the sake of the relationship. And any man that states otherwise just wants the lady to be dependent on him and that is not advisable at all. Since boyfriends can be easily replaced, tell me, what happens when you break up? Do you go back to your former place of work begging for one more chance and for the to give you your old job back. Let's say you get another job, and then you also meet another guy and he asks you to leave your job for the sake of the relationship, I hope you definitely wouldn't try that.
There was a story I heard of a man who was earning fifty thousand naira at his place of work and he his fiancée was earning two hundred thousand naira at her own place of work. So, when they were to marry, the man said to her that he would prefer a stay at home wife and that that was exactly what he wanted. A wife that would be house trained enough to raise their children. So, tell me what do you think of this?
It's obvious that the man feels insecure and doesn't want the wife to earn more money than he does. His salary can barely do anything for the home so isn't he supposed to encourage her to even work harder and he would also try to find a better paying job.
If any man is asking you to leave your job for the sake of the relationship and cannot give a valid reason as to why you need to do that, then pick your job please. That's one thing you know that's actually yours.

**Live, love and heal...**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Blackie(f) .:. Sat, 01 Aug, 2020 - 12:50:21:pm GMT

Firstly what your boyfriend is supposed to consider is of your boss is always home or not. If your boss isn't always around then he isn't supposed to worry much but if your boss is always at home then I understand his insecurity. I'm sure your boss is probably a rich person, your boyfriend feels insecure. He's afraid your boss will steal you right under his nose and there's nothing he'll be able to do. He also needs to consider the age. If your boss is a young man in is 20s or 30s then I understand his fear but if he's an older man then he shouldn't really worry.

You need to convince him in a way that you're not going anywhere, you need to make him trust you and your decisions. Tell him that if he doesn't trust you then why is in a relationship with you. Relationships are based on trust. It is very important. Assure him that he as no reason to worry. If you feel like it's going to cause a lot of issue then o advice that you could search for another job while working where you are presently, once you get a better job where he wouldn't have to worry, then you can quit. No girl should choose between her job and her boyfriend. Both are important.


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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Nagiano(m) .:. Sat, 01 Aug, 2020 - 01:00:59:pm GMT

The truth is your boyfriend loves you enough to care about you. And any guy in such situation would feel insecure. Trust is not just by saying it with your mouth. It is something you earn from your partner and when you've earned it, no reason will be enough for him to doubt you.

It is up to you to make him trust you and understand that nothing is going on between you and your boss. Also, if he can't stop doubting you then he should look for another job for you. It is the normal thing for him to do.

Try and be doing more of video calls with him when you are at work. And if he is still doubting you, then there must be a reason for his actions. He must have seen or heard something he hasn't told you. Sit him down and assure him that you won't cheat on him. tell him the reasons why you feel he is the one for you and cheating on him won't be an option.

But if after several attempts to convince him and he is still not trusting you and your job. Then, it's either he gets you another job or you just have to quit the relationship. Sometimes you have to loose what you have to value that thing.

**Man United for Life**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Phaithh(f) .:. Sat, 01 Aug, 2020 - 03:32:34:pm GMT

Firstly, no matter your nature of job, even though you are to bathe a man, your boyfriend needs to trust you. That's what trust is all about - reliance on someone no matter the circumstances. Trust in a relationship is very paramount.
I'm guessing he has trust issues with you, and such a relationship is hanging on the cliff, it will only take a matter of time before it falls.
Secondly, you are trying to make ends meet, you are not doing the job for fun but to make money - working as an housemaid (because that's how it looks) shows you are really doing your best to survive. He doesn't have any right to tell you to stop working, he's not your husband for GOD'S sake!
Thirdly, it's obvious he is not financially fit because if he is, then he won't make you do such a job, he will try to get you a more pleasant job. If he can't do it he should remain mute and work on himself instead. He shouldn't order you around if he is not willing to help you but...
If he offers to get you a more pleasant job and instructs you to leave this present one, then you should.

The reason why long distance relationships fail is because the partners involved don't trust each other. Trust is important. If you have trust issues then don't get into a relationship, it will affect the other partner. It's not possible to know the whereabouts of your partner 24/7.

**Jesus junkie**

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   Re: My JOB OR MY BOYFRIEND? by: Bookie(f) .:. Sat, 01 Aug, 2020 - 04:09:25:pm GMT

Your boyfriend loves you , I know, he cares for ,I get it ,he is trying to keep you, I can understand but what happens to trusting your partner. Babe, trust should be the foundation of any relationship. Once trust is missing in a relationship that relationship may not work.

Quiting your job because of a man you are not married to is not cool at all. Does it mean that if you eventually get married to this guy you are not going to work ever again? With this type of a man , a simple act of smiling at a customer if you decide to establish your own business will still result to problems for you

Do not quit your job, rather sit him down and talk to him about trust. If he is not ready to change, let him go not because of now but because of later when you legally married to him and he can lay claim to you.


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