MOST COMMON THINGS MEN LIE ABOUT
OCCUPATION: You are going to get where he works and you'd confirm he works there but fortunately for the guy, that's as far as ladies want to know so the actual position is free to pick.
Bankers do this a lot. A very junior contract staff can instantly become the branch manager and what's amazing, especially in teams that are close, is how the manager will let him assume that role for show. Even the ladies in the banks are in on this one and they will help facilitate it. No be bank? Driver na marketer. Not that there's anything wrong with drivers o but, I mean, dude, say it as it is.
OWNERSHIP OF PROPERTY: You almost cannot pity ladies on this one. There is this Pete Edochie proverb that if the bird learns to feed without perching, the hunter must learn to shoot without missing. Bottomline - adaptation, and guys are on top of their game.
Several ladies are in relationships with 'moto' not the guy. It is so bad even they don't know it. So long as he has a car, he is good enough to be listened to, if the car has AC her mouth starts to run non stop, if he has a good house, even better. If he can top that up with a good job, the plot begins, to land him as Mr. Right, LOL.
So, he qualifies to speak with you and take you out because he has a car, he qualifies to be slept with because he has a house and at this point you are already seeing his good job so he is worth it but, the car belongs to his friend (yes, that same one who is always on the passenger seat acting like the scrub. Oh, the house belongs to him too and the squatting arrangement sold to you is actually the reverse) At this point, you are holding on to the fact that he is a branch manager of a bank abi? LOL for you, olodo girl. You have played yourself.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Even though guys don't lie about their sex history as much as ladies tend to do, perhaps because it almost counts as a positive to have experience, this issue still makes the list. Oh, every guy is single, even married guys are single. Wear your ring, put her picture on your desk, it still won't spoil your runs because there'd always be girls willing to convince themselves on your behalf that your ring is a fashion ring, the lady in the photo is your sister, your daughter is your favourite niece, you are too young to be married, okay o....this is what you are telling yourself, why should he convince you otherwise?
SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS: So, you are forming FBI right? Searching him on social media and looking through his accounts, checking connections and friends.......searching searching........nothing found, meaning he's clean. You come off feeling like the smartest, sneakiest person on the globe especially given you looked up the account on his phone when he was not looking, LOL.
Did you really think you got hold of that phone because he was not looking? That was the intention! Now you are convinced you are searching his account but it didn't occur to you that, for the way he is always going about social media trends, he would have more than 150 friends and at least one should be connected to you after knowing him for a while?
Sister, let's make it simple, you are on a long thing, sorry, wrong thing. That account was opened for you. Well, not you specifically but all the 'yous' in his life.
MOBILE PHONE NUMBERS: As with social media, the mobile number you have is likely not to be the primary one. It might not seem so to you because it is the number on the 'bigger' device but you see that 'small' phone, without internet browsing facility, IS the main phone. It is deliberately so such that it is the one he has to take every single place and cannot do without, the one he'd rather be caught with given that you cannot convict him if there's nothing to check on it other than play the 'snake' game.
CURRENT LOCATION: Ohhhh, this one is very common. You cannot pin their location. Sometimes it's not even about being in the wrong place or doing anything, there's just a mental feeling of freedom that comes with it that guys crave.
Evolution has taught that when a woman is asking about where you are as a single guy, speaking the truth will almost always put you in one form of trouble in the present, future or even invoked from the past. Someone might have reported sighting you like the crescent moon, it may be that a standard time template is being measured, by which you'd in the future, be measured, e.g. "Where are you?" And you reply "Law School". If it takes you 15 minutes to get to VGC then that becomes your standard for other days but if you say you already at second Toll gate then that becomes your standard, meaning other days you can just lie that you are almost there, go somewhere else, spend 30 minutes and still not be questioned for being late.
PHONE CALLER: Default answer "a friend". Second answer " my colleague". Third answer "nobody". I mean dude, seriously? 'Nobody' is calling you? Surely 'friend','colleague' and the mysterious 'nobody' have names but you are never going to get their names because the intention is to never drop their names. If you press and push, you'd get an answer after several thinking hesitations, good luck verifying the name.
TRUE INTENTIONS: Almost every guy interested in you wants to sleep with you.
Now, I see some guys raising hands because they believe their intentions are good and they want to marry. Ehen, marry and then do what? Not sleep with her? LOL. Every guy wants to get in your pants, know that one. The question is when and how they want to do it. The ones you are looking to be around are the ones looking to do it AFTER doing the needful NOT before. So, sister, what is this 'needful'? The ridiculousness of the answer that many give is what they later come to push as stories that touch, of guys being all sorts but truly if your answer to that is 'take me to the club and buy me drinks' then you cannot blame a brother for touching down after meeting your minimum requirements. He didn't do you wrong, you did yourself wrong, you set your requirements low. (Wedding proposal or introduction is not the same as wedding by the way - just saying)
MONEY: Guys love sex and women give sex but if there's anything they love more than sex and women, it is money so, it is not strange to find money on the list. There are two types of money liars here the ones who inflate what they have (ladies love these ones) and those who say claim to say it as it is without inflation (women call these ones stingy liars). In any case, for one reason or the other, which is most likely related to the payment of sex in the past, present or future, a guy will fall into one other two categories
GIRLS: It is simple and straightforward, if there is another girl in his life (and it is almost certain that there'd be), you are not getting the truth about her (or as it is in many cases, 'them').
There will always be something to qualify them with. Friend, Friend's cousin, colleague, classmate, course mate, neighbour, neighbour's friend, colleague's friend, classmate's friend, Friend's classmate, Friend's neighbour, classmate's neighbour, Ex, the list is endless.
Isn't it funny how he is always the one that got dumped by an ex, the one who wasn't liked by her family (or when your breakup time is rip, the one who is liked by his mum)?
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