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Romance » Friendship after breakup. by: Wonders(f) .:. Fri, 30 Apr, 2021 - 06:14:18:pm GMT
One faithful day, a friend of mine ask me a question. He said "Wonders, why is it that when relationship break or couldn't work out, the friendship between the two partners also break" I was like are you seriously asking me that question? Let assume I broke up with a toxic person, do you think I will like to be friends with that toxic person again? Of cause not, if I have my way, I will not even want to see that person again for the rest of my life. He concur with me but he said the reason why people stop even to be friends with people they have dated before is because the love was never genuine, he said it was probably lust or for some selfish reasons. He said when two people love each other genuinely, even if things didn't work out, they will still continue to be friends.
What do you guys think? Is he right or wrong?
I will like us to discuss this well

**Wonders**

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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Administrator(m) .:. Tue, 04 May, 2021 - 08:11:48:am GMT

Wonders
One faithful day, a friend of mine ask me a question. He said "Wonders, why is it that when relationship break or couldn't work out, the friendship between the two partners also break" I was like are you seriously asking me that question? Let assume I broke up with a toxic person, do you think I will like to be friends with that toxic person again? Of cause not, if I have my way, I will not even want to see that person again for the rest of my life. He concur with me but he said the reason why people stop even to be friends with people they have dated before is because the love was never genuine, he said it was probably lust or for some selfish reasons. He said when two people love each other genuinely, even if things didn't work out, they will still continue to be friends.
What do you guys think? Is he right or wrong?
I will like us to discuss this well

If they indeed "love" each other "genuinely" then, why would the relationship break up in the first place?
I'm not suggesting that breaking up is impossible, but just throwing out the question.
Yes, why would a genuine love affair break up into an ordinary friendship?
Also, I'm not suggesting that there was "never" love within them, rather that the issue is that they were not able to work out their relationship, perhaps due to intolerance, selfishness and/or pride.
Finally, friendship after breakup is difficult mainly due to one party feeling hurt or having a new partner who might not tolerate one's formal mate.
@ Wonders, would you tolerate your boyfriend or husband hanging out with his previous girlfriend?
**www.babefishing.com**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Ogiejoe(m) .:. Tue, 04 May, 2021 - 12:46:46:pm GMT

First of all, i think it is very important for people to be friends first before considering going into relationship. Many persons in relationships don't know each other. A guy might just see a fine girl and has many attributes up and down and then he is already falling for her and he is asking for number or asking for relationship straight away. And unfortunately, the lady may also like the guy too as he is handsome, has a car and looks presentable and already in her heart, she likes him and then accepts to go into relationship. At the end, they start to see the difference between them and boom! there is breakup and one is hurt and the other finds someone else. That is mostly the problem of many relationships.

On the aspect of talking after breakup, It may not be necessary for them to keep talking especially when both are already in other relationships as tangling together as friends can cause compromise and do dirty stuff. But there are some times when the communication between both could be business or something good that causes the communication.
So it depends on a lot of attributes or reasons.
****


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Wonders(f) .:. Tue, 04 May, 2021 - 01:30:26:pm GMT

@Administrator:
OK, in answering your question, in my own opinion, I would say that there are limits to everything and because there are limits to everything, yes they can still be friends but their friendship must have limits. They can talk to each other but I will just have them put it at the back of their minds that my husband is married/ my boyfriend has someone else.
I believe that if they are both matured individuals, they can maintain good friendship with no interior or bad intentions. I stand to be corrected sir.
**Wonders**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Administrator(m) .:. Tue, 04 May, 2021 - 04:22:15:pm GMT

Wonders
@Administrator:
OK, in answering your question, in my own opinion, I would say that there are limits to everything and because there are limits to everything, yes they can still be friends but their friendship must have limits. They can talk to each other but I will just have them put it at the back of their minds that my husband is married/ my boyfriend has someone else.
I believe that if they are both matured individuals, they can maintain good friendship with no interior or bad intentions. I stand to be corrected sir.
@Wonders:
Easier said than done.
What nature of friendship are they going to be having with each other, What is the benefit of the friendship with his ex girlfriend, i mean, why will such friendship be so necessary that they have to keep it up?
You talked about them having a "limit", that is naive: What standard do you use to measure the limit and how do you control it to ensure they don't breach it, would you consider it OK if they are texting each other, chatting or calling each other: what really is that reasonable thing that is still holding them together?
Are you really suggesting that if your husband is in an interacting "friendship" with his ex girlfriend who is herself currently with another man, everything will just be fine with all four of you?
**www.babefishing.com**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Administrator(m) .:. Tue, 04 May, 2021 - 04:42:38:pm GMT

ogiejoe
First of all, i think it is very important for people to be friends first before considering going into relationship. Many persons in relationships don't know each other. A guy might just see a fine girl and has many attributes up and down and then he is already falling for her and he is asking for number or asking for relationship straight away. And unfortunately, the lady may also like the guy too as he is handsome, has a car and looks presentable and already in her heart, she likes him and then accepts to go into relationship. At the end, they start to see the difference between them and boom! there is breakup and one is hurt and the other finds someone else. That is mostly the problem of many relationships.
On the aspect of talking after breakup, It may not be necessary for them to keep talking especially when both are already in other relationships as tangling together as friends can cause compromise and do dirty stuff. But there are some times when the communication between both could be business or something good that causes the communication.
So it depends on a lot of attributes or reasons.

So, what you are suggesting is to hang around a potential lover and just be an ordinary acquaintance until another fast guy overtakes you and start a relationship with her?
Well, being a friend with somebody of a opposite sex does not guarantee that you would know the person fully well as people have the tendency to be in their best behaviours just to win each other's heart: how often do we hear of the phrase "i never knew s/he could do that"?
A person who really desire a relationship does not consider being a casual friend to a potential lover before getting in a relationship.
Relationship itself is friendship with deeper commitment.
**www.babefishing.com**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Fashnet(m) .:. Tue, 04 May, 2021 - 09:52:05:pm GMT

Hello, I think I get the point of view where you are looking at it from. It is true that some people will break up and they will still come back to get along again and some will break up and find it very hard and disturbing and very difficult for them to get along again, I think it all depends on the type of friendship that both of them keeps and the way they tolerate each other. I think these are the main factors that makes the friendship work or not work out.
For example you will notice that some friends like those befriending themselves like boyfriend and girlfriend can have issues and breakup but because of the love they have for themselves they will still be having feelings for themselves and they also find it very easy to contact themselves and come back again to be friends and even stronger friendship than what they were and how they have been before.

Some lovers would have issues and they will break up and that will be the end of it because the type of friendship day show and the way they have been living cannot be compared to true love that some other set of people show themselves.

So I feel it all depends on their friendship and how they have been with themselves because some friendship are only there only to make friends which is not genuine and it doesn't come from the heart or due to self-interest.
**Help the needy and love everyone**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Wonders(f) .:. Wed, 05 May, 2021 - 08:54:45:pm GMT

@Administrator:
Wao, I never thought about it from that angle, am glad I brought this topic to this forum, now have known better. Thanks a lot admin but I will like to ask a question. " is it that its bad for one to be on a normal level of friendship with one's ex?"
**Wonders**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Wonders(f) .:. Fri, 07 May, 2021 - 08:19:41:am GMT

@Fashnet:
You are right. That is very true also looking in that angle.
And I think that when both partners has been able to evolved from that love affair and break up, I think they can still maintain a normal friendship with no strings attached and everywhere will be good. I really don't like a tensed situation when you guys meet after some years maybe business joined you guys together and everywhere is tensed and you can't even maintain a normal conversation. I believe so much in partners talking everything out and ending on common grounds and on a cool level so that if they see each other tomorrow, it won't still be like they have unfinished business or something and they can't even greet each other with a genuine smile and everyone and everywhere is just so tensed. I really don't like that kind of situation.
I know its very hard to be able to end things on a common and cool level but I think its quite worth it.
**Wonders**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Nagiano(m) .:. Fri, 07 May, 2021 - 09:31:01:am GMT

@Administrator: U're right about the Fact that friendship after breakup is very difficult.
Most especially when you were heartbroken by someone you such love.
There's one thing you need to know which is the fact that there's a very thin line between love and hatred.

Which is why when you break the trust of some people, they find it very hard to forgive you.

From my own ideology, if a lady should break my heart, I would not want to have anything to do with the lady, not even a friendly relationship.
I'll prefer to stay away from her for good.
**Man United for Life**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Abbey(m) .:. Tue, 18 May, 2021 - 09:31:32:pm GMT

after break up yes,both can still be friends but that friendship should have a limitation the friendship should not be too close.
we we talk of break up in a relationship it means both of you are not together anymore therefore there should be a limit to things that you wont to do don't go too far because if you do another thing can happen if care is not taken.
but for me I can't make any friendship with a girl which I have dated before ,when ever I broke up with a girl that is the end of our relationship.
**Abbey **


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Wonders(f) .:. Wed, 02 Jun, 2021 - 11:05:32:pm GMT

@abbey: wao! You are right but I don't have a choice than to disagree with you in one aspect especially the one that you said you wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone you had dated again. I don't agree with you on that because you can never tell! Life can still bring you guys to each other again!. I so much believe life is more than meeting someone, dating and breaking up or even getting married.
Its hard and hurts but I just believe you ending things with your partner in such a way that when you guys come across each other again, greeting each other with a sincere smile won't be a problem is the best. I know that for this to happen, time has a lot to do with this, but then making sure things ended amicably has a lot to do also.
The truth is that if you don't end things in such a way that saying hi won't be much of an headache, if you guys have to face each other again, you guys will still have go through the phase to be able to heal completely.
**Wonders**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Olatoke(m) .:. Mon, 26 Jul, 2021 - 08:14:22:am GMT

After you break up with someone I don't think there should be anything call friendship again, what friendship is that is it calling each other,or visiting each other when you break up that is all.
Making friendship after break up means both of you still love each other and if you try making any friends you will start dating each other again .
Break up is break up no friendship after break up please dont mixed things together .
If you see each other out side then you can just greet yourself that all .
**Olatoke **


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Iyanu(f) .:. Fri, 20 Aug, 2021 - 07:01:17:am GMT

Are you saying friendship after breakup.
No i dont think that can possible in my own personal dictionary that can not possible .
We dated before but now we are no more dating and you expect me to make a friend with him ,which type of friend is that.

Guys are very sensitive ,guys are very smart after breakup up and you as a lady you make friends with the guy believe me he will find a way to sleep with you even if it is one.
As for me when I see him I will greet him only that all,but making friends with him no.
**Oladipupo **


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Damilola(f) .:. Wed, 27 Oct, 2021 - 10:58:40:am GMT

@ogiejoe: I agree with you.
Truth most be told, majority of broken relationship today is as a result of quarrel, fight, or hatred between both parties. So how can can friendship exist after breakup. Some people will even prefer their enemy to their ex. That is because the relationship was built on lust, infatuation or sex.
The sex is the common part of it. If a relationship last a month or two, and for that few months, they have been having sex severally., If the guy is someone that just dated the lady for sex, once he is tired of having sex with her, he will start giving her attitude. So, the lady will be like, "After having sex with me, you now want to dump me". Tell me, how can they ever become friends after breakup. That is why we need to be wise in a relationship.

Although, there are still some friendship after breakup. That is when both parties agree to break up, or if the cause is minor.
It is very possible. I am friend with my ex, because the cause of the break up was not serious.
The relationship that is very hard to leave is when you are both friends before and during the relationship.



**Damilola**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Vickybrown(m) .:. Fri, 29 Oct, 2021 - 08:26:39:pm GMT

Love is a complicated thing and remember that there's a thin line between love and hatred.

How can I be friends with someone I've been into a relationship with and I love genuinely.

It's not possible things don't work that way. It's even better I stay very far away from her for my own good.


**Just me**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Lilcent(m) .:. Fri, 29 Oct, 2021 - 08:31:38:pm GMT

How can I be friends with someone I've fallen in love with before. I won't even try it in any way.
How will I be able to stand the presence of another man with her?

It's better I stay very far away from as well.
**liltech**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Taofeek(m) .:. Mon, 08 Nov, 2021 - 01:09:52:pm GMT

@lilcent: I strongly agree with what you just said. There's a thin line between love and hatred.


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Osaroju(m) .:. Thu, 11 Nov, 2021 - 04:30:11:pm GMT

Good topic here wonders.

So for my own take, I'll say it depends on a number of things, like what kind of relationship it was, the character and maturity of the people involved, the situation which lead to the breakup, and maybe one other thing or not.

So there are various kinds of relationship we have, and from the tone of this post of our general thinking, it would be that of a "boyfriend and girlfriend" kind of relationship.

So from my other list the people involved in such a relationship must have understanding of a whole lot of things to be able to sustain the relationship even after it is over.
You have to understand that being in a relationship is about managing another Human being and as we know, human beings are not so easy to be managed, because everyone has traits within them which you would not be comfortable with.

What lead to the break up is also a big factor. I think as far as it's not life threating (even if it is), you can still be to a level cool with such a person)

In all, the end of a relationship of whatever nature, shouldn't be the end of the relationship per se. Something good could still come out of it.

Stay safe guys
**Don't be a good student and a bad teacher.**


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Iyanu(f) .:. Tue, 16 Nov, 2021 - 07:18:32:am GMT

Guys are cheat we female have a fear mind , we agree to things very easier.
After breaking our heart guys will still look for a means to try nonsense with you.


**Oladipupo **


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Iyanu(f) .:. Wed, 17 Nov, 2021 - 05:28:00:am GMT

The person who you break her heart you now think you wont to be friends with her again .
Don't you know some heart break lead to death , some lead to a serious sickness ,so what of if the person who you break her heart die what will you do.

See that can't work since both of you guys have departed dont make any friendship anymore go o your own and she go on her own .

Because through that useless friendship things can happen again.
Please past is past.
**Oladipupo **


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Vickybrown(m) .:. Tue, 23 Nov, 2021 - 09:21:07:pm GMT

@Iyan😍 Well said dear.


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Abbey(m) .:. Wed, 24 Nov, 2021 - 04:23:16:pm GMT

@Iyan😍 you are right since both of you are no more together then each an individual should find his or her way , making friends with your ex is not can actually lead to something as you have said.
So you are trying to tell that since that have breakup in the first place they cant have anything to offer each other , life is not like that she can be your benefactor tomorrow and you also can be his benefactor tomorrow so dont think like that alright.

**Abbey **


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Taofeek(m) .:. Sun, 28 Nov, 2021 - 03:08:33:am GMT

There's no point being friends after break up.
What is coming is better than what is gone, so move on.


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Taofeek(m) .:. Sun, 28 Nov, 2021 - 03:10:35:am GMT

@Iyan😍. Oh really??? You think so or you know so?


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Taofeek(m) .:. Sun, 28 Nov, 2021 - 03:12:39:am GMT

@lilcent:. Distance is the best way to heal from emotional pains you've gone through in your past relationship.
So what's now the point of making friends with that person again?

Are you trying to trigger what caused you pains in the first place?


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Lilcent(m) .:. Thu, 02 Dec, 2021 - 08:24:31:am GMT

Hmmmmnnn friendship after breakup is one thing I would not think of doing because I believe once you're out of my life, you've gone for good and nothing is going to bring you back for any reason.


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Re: Friendship after breakup. by: Lilcent(m) .:. Thu, 02 Dec, 2021 - 08:27:22:am GMT

@Taofeek:. Thank you very much for that write up bro.
You've actually made a good point...


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